IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money . Governments should invest these funds in public services instead . To what extent do you agree with this statement ?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services
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It is often argued that the investment of
money
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 in
entertainment
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 forms is worthless and it must be spent on public services.
However
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, I completely agree with
this
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 essay statement and opine that
regimes
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 should invest
funds
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 in the improvement of public
transportation
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 and public
gyms
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 rather than in
entertainment
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 facilities. Several forms of
entertainment
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such
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 as arts, music and cinema provide happiness to people, whereas the higher amount of
money
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 spent on these forms is not worthwhile. The
regimes
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 should spend
money
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 on the public
transportation
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 system . It means that
funds
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 could be invested in enhancing the number of public buses and metros.
Also
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 , buses must be well-equipped and easily accessible to the general public.
For instance
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, the authorities in Atlantic areas in Canada are spending millions of dollars to improve the
transportation
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 facilities there. Another prominent fact is that the
regimes
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 should provide
money
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 to open public
gyms
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 . As people are becoming overweight nowadays due to their sedentary lifestyle ,so they ought to join gym classes for workouts . Many individuals are unable to join
gyms
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 because of high entrance fees so, the government must spend
funds
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 on the construction of public
gyms
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 . For illustration, the Quebec government recently opened a public gym in Laval where participants enable to do exercises without any fee .
That is
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 why, the
money
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 spend on the construction of public
gyms
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 and
transportation
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 systems is much more beneficial, despite being spent on
entertainment
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 resources . In conclusion, public travel vehicles and workout spots are demanding
funds
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 from local
regimes
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 irrespective of enjoyable activities. I believe that government must give priority to developing their areas without emphasis only on music ,arts and theatres.
Submitted by bandhana322 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • public services
  • economic benefits
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • equitable access
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • prioritize
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • tourism
  • global recognition
  • holistic development
  • mutually exclusive
  • philanthropy
  • subsidize
  • infrastructure
  • socio-economic status
  • altruistic
  • civic engagement
  • aesthetics
  • civic pride
  • utilitarian
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