IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that it is better for high school students to study a wide range of subjects than to focus on a narrow range of subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #students #study #range #subjects #focus
Nowadays, there is much discussion revolving around the issue of the importance of different
subjects
 in youngster's
school
 education. One
school
 of thoughts believe that
students
 should
study
 various types of
subjects
 during high
school
while
 others argue that they should focus on specific
subjects
. I partially agree with the above statement because I believe that the main aim of education should be the
overall
 development of the pupils
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the in-demand area of
knowledge
.
Firstly
, It cannot be denied that
knowledge
 of different
subjects
 will help the
students
 to remain updated academically.
Moreover
, if learners grasp the information about different
subjects
then
 it will create a variety of opportunities that they can take in their college education.
For instance
, if
students
 have
knowledge
 of mathematics
as well as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science during high
school
then
 they have two options for future careers.
However
, In
this
 modern technical world, it becomes essential to have an understanding of everything to compete.
On the other hand
, some people believe that rather than focusing on different
subjects
students
 should choose a particular field of
study
. It not only provides in-depth
knowledge
 of a specific discipline but
also
 puts less stress on the pupils.
In addition
 , concentration on a limited course of
study
 helps them to gain expertise in that subject matter as well and provides some leisure time to participate in other co-curricular activities. In conclusion, It can be analysed that
knowledge
 of anything is valuable if
students
 do it by working hard. Different branches of
study
 give them opportunities in different fields.
In contrast
, a small field of information makes them
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 in that subject.
Therefore
, it should be the choice of the pupils, which
subjects
 they want to learn, and teachers and parents should assist
students
 in selecting the right option.
Submitted by kkaur9391 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you address the question directly and fully. Develop your arguments with more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by focusing on clear and logical organization of your essay. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
language
Pay attention to the accuracy of your language use, including grammar, spelling, and punctuation, to improve overall essay quality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded
  • interdisciplinary
  • curriculum
  • specialization
  • mastery
  • core curriculum
  • elective options
  • educational systems
  • extracurricular activities
  • job market trends
  • skill set
  • academic rigor
  • vocational skills
  • cognitive flexibility
  • career trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: