Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?

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In the current era, some individuals firmly believe that high school

students

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must participate in voluntary

community

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service. I totally agree with

this

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opinion. It seems that

this

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kind of voluntary job exerts a positive effect on teenager’s character.

In addition

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, they can earn work experience through

this

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involvement. It is undeniable that making a responsible character is one of the most challenging issues in the modern world. In

this

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regard, the educational system should not only focus on the pursuit of knowledge but

also

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the development of good personality

such

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as being patient, caring, and responsible. It should be noted that

students

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might learn these skills in the classroom but would not have the chance to apply or practice them.

However

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, interaction with people in

community

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service allows them to build up those morals. It brings that knowledge of morality into experience in their life.

for instance

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, helping orphans makes a contribution to earning social skills.

Moreover

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, it is very competitive in applying to universities or jobs. Universities prefer influential

students

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to adopt.

For example

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, MIT University receives more than thousands of new applications each year. Most applicants obtained all A’s results, so it is not easy to select the new intake

students

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. At that time, their contribution to the

community

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would make them distinguished among the applicants.

To sum up

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, without a shadow of a doubt, involvement in unpaid

community

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service brings great benefits to shape the morality of teenagers and boost their chances of getting into tertiary education. So I totally agree with the idea that unpaid work should be included in school programs.

TUTOOSat Oct 07 2023

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Presentation

Ensure consistent punctuation and capitalization throughout your essay to maintain a high level of presentation. For example, the phrase 'for instance, helping orphans makes a contribution...' should start with a capital 'F'.

Language Use

Consider diversifying the sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the complexity and richness of your essay. While the essay is well-written, increased variety can further demonstrate linguistic skill.

Content

You've done an excellent job of presenting a clear stance on the topic, backing up your views with logical arguments and relevant examples, which is crucial for a high task achievement score.

Structure

Your essay exhibits strong coherence and cohesion, demonstrated through a logical flow of ideas and clear paragraphing. This makes your argument easy to follow and understand, significantly contributing to a high score.

Evidence

Introducing real-world examples, such as the MIT University example, adds depth to your arguments and provides tangible evidence to support your claims.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fosters
social responsibility
sense of community
practical experience
precursor
professional development
infringes
unnecessary strain
demanding schedules
bridge the gap
foster a culture
integration
feasibility
genuine engagement
broader perspective
societal issues
active, informed citizens

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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