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Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
The young generation has a vital role in future of the societies;
Therefore
, government authorities have provided a lot of training programs for them in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 past few years. Unpaid community services have been a subject of debate
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
 recent decades. Some people opine
this
 type of work should be compulsory for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 who are in high school levels. I side with
this
 opinion but not strongly. In
this
 essay, I will explain
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 how far I agree or disagree with
this
 issue. Some people believe that unpaid jobs should be
compulsory
Correct article usage
a compulsory
show examples
 section of high school courses because juveniles are really fresh to do it at
this
 age.
Also
, they do not need to be paid for their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 as they have
financial
Change the adjective
financially
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supported
Replace the word
support
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their families.
This
 kind of job can prepare them for their future careers.
For example
,
children
 can work in charities to help poor people
as well as
 they can help the elderly
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their chores. In some cases, youth work for some companies and donate their incomes to the poor.
On the other hand
, if there is only one reason for me to disagree with
this
 point of view, it is poverty. As some research
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
has shown
showed
show examples
,70% of families are underprivileged.
Hence
, most of the
children
 need to be paid to support their families.
Thus
, they have to find a job with
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 since they are in high
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. In a nutshell, unpaid jobs as a compulsory part of high school levels
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 to be prepared for their future career, but most of the kids prefer to get paid
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their activities to aid their parents. I almost agree with the former opinion.
Submitted by mrymabbsi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
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