IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this statement?

#government #money #railways #roads
Nowadys
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, there is a
debat
Correct your spelling
debit
debate
debt
 associated with governments should invest significant money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 railways rather than roads. In
may
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
 opinion, developing railways can help to resolve
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 and it can lead to individuals moving
Change preposition
to rurals
show examples
rurals
Correct your spelling
rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 without any concern about their commute. It is my view that governments should invest more money in railways
due to
 encourage
people
 to commute
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
train
 and it can lead to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of traffics.
Moreover
, it can encourage
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 to
living
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in the
suburbs
Replace the word
suburban
show examples
 area and commute
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
train
.
Furthere
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, using trian can
decreses
Correct your spelling
decreases
decrease
 the proportion of time
cummuters
Correct your spelling
commuters
 spend to reach their destination. In
addittion
Correct your spelling
addition
, fares can be
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 source of revenue for
government
Add an article
the government
a government
show examples
 so they should invest in
Correct article usage
the infarstructure
show examples
infarstructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 of
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 and public
trasports
Correct your spelling
transports
transport
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 trains are
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 environmentally
friendy
Correct your spelling
friendly
show examples
 form of
trasport
Correct your spelling
transport
 so using
Correct article usage
the train
show examples
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 can help to protect
Correct article usage
the environments
show examples
environments
Fix the agreement mistake
environment
show examples
.
In contrast
, a group of
people
 claim that if
govrnments
Correct your spelling
governments
 spend more money to develop roads, It can lead to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
 the number of
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 that happened because of bad road
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
Moreover
, It can decline
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of traffic in the city.
However
, I do not find the argument convincing as developing roads condition can not reduce
traffic’s
Change noun form
traffic
show examples
 size
instead
 it causes to more
people
 use privet cars and it can lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 number of accidents too. In conclusion, I believe,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should use a strategy to encourage
people
use
Add the particle
to use
show examples
 other sorts of transport
such
 as trains and buses and
airplante
Correct your spelling
aeroplane
aeroplanes
 to protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and
also
 using
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 can reduce
Correct article usage
the congestetion
show examples
congestetion
Correct your spelling
congestion
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
.
Submitted by melika.verdi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: