Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Share your own experience and examples.

#people #students #work #travel #education #university

Nowadays, the young generation loves to explore places and try things for the first time. Some

parents

prefer to let their children experience different types of

work

or places before they enter college

life

. I agree with

this

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because some young people are still undecided about which course they will take. And travelling can help them to find themselves. And by working, they tend to become more responsible with their finances.

Firstly

, some young adults cannot decide what they want to be. Because

this

is the stage where they tend to follow what their friends will be taking up. And if the

parents

allow them to travel, they will tend to figure out what they really what to be.

For instance

, if they will travel. They can meet a lot of people with

a different perspectives

Correct the article-noun agreement

a different perspective

different perspectives

show examples

life

. In short, they have the chance to explore and figure out what

work

they want to have in the future.

Secondly

, children do not appreciate the value of money if they did not

work

for it. Because all their

life

, their

parents

is the one giving them their needs. And if they will have the opportunity to

work

. They will value the money and become more responsible with their finance.

For example

, if they are working and they are just earning a small amount. They will weigh in if they will buy their wants or they will just save it for their schooling because they

work

hard to earn that money. And just spend it with unimportant stuff. In conclusion, it will really big help if

parents

allow their kids to explore the real world. In that case, young people will know the value of everything and can decide what they really want in

life

Submitted by athena26 on Tue Jan 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Computer and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?
The integration of automation and computers has had a significant impact on the field of education in today's modern era. The increasing use of AI in education is widely recognized for its efficiency and convenience, leading to notable progress in educational systems.
5.5
band
Last Wednesday you flew from London to Vancouver. When you arrived home, you discovered that you had left your hand luggage on the plane.
My name is Nisa and I was on the Singapore Airlines flight from London to Vancouver on the 14th of July and I just realised that I had left my hand luggage on the plane.
4
band
Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and will use up the world’s resources. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays air pollution is one of major disaster on the earth and some people argued that air travel restrictions is a solution to battle the issue. I completely disagree with that statement and in this essay will discuss the reasons.
7
band
Recent research has shown that business meetings and training are increasingly taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Many businesses today choose to hold meetings and do training online, rather than in person. While this has certain drawbacks related to interpersonal relationships, I still feel this is a positive trend because of its positive impact on employees with families. In this essay, I will discuss both sides in detail.
6
band
Many people think that successful people’s accomplishments depend on the regions they come from, while other people think that it doesn’t matter where a person comes from, if that person has the will to succeed, he/she will triumph. What do you think?.
It is a common held belief that people's origins play important roles in making them successful, but many people also argue that it is the will to thrive that lead individuals to accomplish their dreams. In my opinion, I strongly advocate that people can achieve what they want regardless of where they come from.

Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Share your own experience and examples.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computer and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Last Wednesday you flew from London to Vancouver. When you arrived home, you discovered that you had left your hand luggage on the plane.

Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and will use up the world’s resources. Do you agree or disagree?

Recent research has shown that business meetings and training are increasingly taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Many people think that successful people’s accomplishments depend on the regions they come from, while other people think that it doesn’t matter where a person comes from, if that person has the will to succeed, he/she will triumph. What do you think?.