Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Share your own experience and examples.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the young generation loves to explore places and try things for the first time. Some
parents
prefer to let their children experience different types of
work
or places before they enter college
life
. I agree with
this
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because some young people are still undecided about which course they will take. And travelling can help them to find themselves. And by working, they tend to become more responsible with their finances.
Firstly
, some young adults cannot decide what they want to be. Because
this
is the stage where they tend to follow what their friends will be taking up. And if the
parents
allow them to travel, they will tend to figure out what they really what to be.
For instance
, if they will travel. They can meet a lot of people with
a different perspectives
Correct the article-noun agreement
a different perspective
different perspectives
show examples
on
life
. In short, they have the chance to explore and figure out what
work
they want to have in the future.
Secondly
, children do not appreciate the value of money if they did not
work
for it. Because all their
life
, their
parents
is the one giving them their needs. And if they will have the opportunity to
work
. They will value the money and become more responsible with their finance.
For example
, if they are working and they are just earning a small amount. They will weigh in if they will buy their wants or they will just save it for their schooling because they
work
hard to earn that money. And just spend it with unimportant stuff. In conclusion, it will really big help if
parents
allow their kids to explore the real world. In that case, young people will know the value of everything and can decide what they really want in
life
.
Submitted by athena26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: