IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some parents believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by book reading. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #tv #computer #games #book
In
this
 contemporary era, some fathers and mothers are of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
 that their children should spend more time reading physical
books
 and limit digital
screens
Fix the agreement mistake
screen
show examples
 watching time.
This
 essay disagrees with
this
 statement because video learning can be more effective and cheaper.
To begin
 with, nowadays, media is becoming an efficient way
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 education.
In other words
, academic documentaries and educational games replaced the old ways of getting information
such
 as
books
.
For example
, Japanese educational systems adopted thirteen different digital media
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of education, and they decided to close 80% of their libraries.
Accordingly
, parents should allow more educational computer visuals.
In addition
 to that,
to download
Change the verb form
downloading
show examples
 an academic video game does not cost as much as buying a physical encyclopedia.
This
 means that one documentary film can give the same sort of data
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a scientific magazine, yet it costs nothing.
For instance
,
this
 was proven by an article published by Times Magazine, which reiterates the idea that well-prepared educational television shows can be as effective as ten hard
books
, yet they are free.
Thus
, children should develop their skills for gaining knowledge from screens by investing more time using them.
To conclude
,
after
this
 essay has shown two
effictive
Correct your spelling
effective
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of media on students, it can be said that fathers should let them play more academic games
instead
 of reading hard
books
. Not only will
this
 positively affect pupils, but
also
 will help their parents financially.
Submitted by eahmedusama on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: