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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some parents believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by book reading. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #tv #computer #games #book
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In
this
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 contemporary era, some fathers and mothers are of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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belief
Replace the word
believe
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 that their children should spend more time reading physical
books
Use synonyms
 and limit digital
screens
Fix the agreement mistake
screen
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 watching time.
This
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 essay disagrees with
this
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 statement because video learning can be more effective and cheaper.
To begin
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 with, nowadays, media is becoming an efficient way
for
Change preposition
of
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 education.
In other words
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, academic documentaries and educational games replaced the old ways of getting information
such
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 as
books
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, Japanese educational systems adopted thirteen different digital media
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 of education, and they decided to close 80% of their libraries.
Accordingly
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, parents should allow more educational computer visuals.
In addition
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 to that,
to download
Change the verb form
downloading
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 an academic video game does not cost as much as buying a physical encyclopedia.
This
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 means that one documentary film can give the same sort of data
in
Change preposition
as
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 a scientific magazine, yet it costs nothing.
For instance
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,
this
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 was proven by an article published by Times Magazine, which reiterates the idea that well-prepared educational television shows can be as effective as ten hard
books
Use synonyms
, yet they are free.
Thus
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, children should develop their skills for gaining knowledge from screens by investing more time using them.
To conclude
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,
after
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this
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 essay has shown two
effictive
Correct your spelling
effective
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of media on students, it can be said that fathers should let them play more academic games
instead
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 of reading hard
books
Use synonyms
. Not only will
this
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 positively affect pupils, but
also
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 will help their parents financially.
Submitted by eahmedusama on

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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