In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving chilren this message?

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Some societies told their
childrean
Correct your spelling
children
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can have whatever you want if make a lot of effort. the following essay will examine the benefits and drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
notion and provide
logical
Add an article
a logical
show examples
conclusion. The two main advantages of
this
Linking Words
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
are
encourage
Change the form of the verb
encouraging
show examples
children
Use synonyms
to be hardworking and
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
them hope to achieve whatever they want.
Firstly
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people
Add a missing verb
are generaly
show examples
generaly
Correct your spelling
generally
lazy to do
hard
Add an article
the hard
show examples
stuff and they don't need to try hard, but if parents persuade them with promising
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
bright future, they
mat
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
attempt hard to reach
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
goals.
Secondlay
Correct your spelling
Secondly
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
immediate
Change the word
immediately
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
their
children
Use synonyms
hope and noted that, if you
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
a lot, your dreams come true.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
childrean
Correct your spelling
children
have an aspiration to become first in their class ;
therfore
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therefore
, their
fathers
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father's
fathers'
show examples
and
mothers
Change noun form
mothers'
mother's
show examples
word make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
do many efforts and eventually rank first in their
classrommes
Correct your spelling
classrooms
among their peers.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
belief
also
Linking Words
has some major disadvantages like
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
show examples
of youth's
self-steem
Correct your spelling
self-esteem
and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
them bored.
children
Use synonyms
who enforced
try
Fix the infinitive
to try
show examples
hard to achieve their aims, in case of failing, their confidence may ruin completely.
For example
Linking Words
, students who make effort hardly all the semester and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
expect to take good grades, have
feel
Change the verb form
felt
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
depression
Replace the word
depressed
show examples
if they fail
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their eams. what's more, inducing
children
Use synonyms
to try tough can be monotonous
fot
Correct your spelling
for
them and make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
quit everything.
this
Linking Words
is a real danger to
children
Use synonyms
and may demolish their future. to
conclode
Correct your spelling
conclude
,
although
Linking Words
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
statement can have
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
positive effect like
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
the
children
Use synonyms
studious and
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
them hope, it has an extremely negative
infuluence
Correct your spelling
influence
on their self-confidence and
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them bored.
Submitted by Babak.ghassemi.9 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work ethic
  • self-belief
  • perseverance
  • resilience
  • self-esteem
  • unrealistic expectations
  • external factors
  • inherent talent
  • disappointment
  • effort
  • achieve
  • overcoming obstacles
  • goals
  • pressure
What to do next:
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