Due to the influence of worldwide media such as television and computers, the gap between cultures is decreasing. The introduction of this global culture is a great benefit to the world. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

#influence #media #television #computers #gap #cultures #introduction #culture #benefit #world

Modern technology played a crucial role in bringing

world's

Correct article usage

the world's

show examples

cultures together. The vast majority of

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

use

Correct subject-verb agreement

uses

show examples

global media to communicate

Change preposition

apply

show examples

nowadays,

therefore

, the mixing of cultures is prevalent at the present time.

This

essay, will examine the benefits and drawbacks of cultural integration, and give reasons that make me agree partially with global

culture

. Indeed, the impact of having global

culture

is vital for humanity developing in several ways,

firstly

, ease of communication, when the different nations of the world watch the same movies,series,etc. definitely, that will bring the different viewpoints together,

In addition

, these people will

influenced

Change the verb form

be influenced

show examples

by the media language,

hence

, they could communicate without any challenges, as an example, I used to watch TV for lengthy periods, and one day I found my self speak the English language by a simple way.

Furthermore

due to

the foundation of global

culture

, humanity will enrich will the

diversity

Replace the word

diverse

show examples

contributions of nations in different fields

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

science,art and so on.

for Instance

, in meantime it is so easy to get information from the internet regarding any subject.

On the other hand

, even though all the outstanding benefits that the populations gain through the global media, still there is some detrimental

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

. Including losing the native

culture

for example

, customs, language, traditional dancing, etc.

Submitted by hayderhayder on Tue Jan 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

216 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People are divided as to whether children should move out on their own once they reach the age of adulthood, with some suggesting they should stay with their parents. While there are clear upsides to children continuing to live with their parents past 18, I am in favor of encouraging them to leave their parents’ house.
7.5
band
Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Over the past decade, monumental technological advancements have become the defining phenomenon on a global scale. Innovations led by scientists, particularly in the Internet and Technology (IT) sector, have given rise to transformative devices such as smartphones. The heightened accessibility of these devices has resulted in their widespread and extended use, a trend observed across various age groups, including children who often find themselves immersed in prolonged smartphone interactions.
<4
band
More and more people are shifting to cities from country side. Does this have advantages or disadvantage on environment?
Nowadays, the number of people prefer to move to live in the country increased for many different reaseons. In this essay I will write about this supject and the penfits and drawback of this stuation.
7
band
The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
The emergence of social media platforms, such as Facebook and Twitter, has brought about a profound transformation in interpersonal communication, challenging the traditional face-to-face interactions we once relied upon. I am firmly convinced that the benefits of this digital revolution far outweigh its drawbacks. While social media offers unparalleled convenience and connectivity, it is vital to acknowledge and address its potential downsides to strike a balanced approach to its usage.
7
band
The government should control the use of the internet in a country
In the modern era, the development of the internet is getting stronger and freer, and everyone can give and get the info or communicate with each other quickly, instant and real-time. Someone when suffering the network, it is like suffering the earth, they can go anywhere they want. However, one-place are not the same condition; there is a place full of peace or place that used for war. Because of that, it is crucial to restriction the cyberspace to protect and make everyone feeling safe when they hang around on the web then the ministry should take action to discipline the cyber management in the country. Nevertheless, with a condition like that, some people will not be controlled by using the internet because it will bother the freedom and limit their human rights. This essay will compare the reason the ministry to control or give flexibility to the usage of the network in a country.

Due to the influence of worldwide media such as television and computers, the gap between cultures is decreasing. The introduction of this global culture is a great benefit to the world. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

More and more people are shifting to cities from country side. Does this have advantages or disadvantage on environment?

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The government should control the use of the internet in a country