Scientist and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extend do you agree?

#scientist #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists

It is true that nowadays scientists and

technology

experts in modern societies and developed

countries

are more valued than other careers

such

as artists, I do agree with

this

trend, I believe that they are worth special support and attention from us as individuals and from the community.

To begin

with, the most obvious reason why

such

countries

exceptional

Change the word

exceptionally

show examples

care for inventors and

technology

pioneers,

that

Add a missing verb

is that

show examples

they provide and create services beyond compare for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

For

instance

Add a comma

,instance

show examples

2020

Change the article

the 2020

show examples

year when Covid hit the world and life on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Earth, the whole world was begging

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

scientists to develop

bew

Correct your spelling

new

vaccine to

safe

Replace the word

save

show examples

human lives.

As a result

, developed

countries

found that they must pay more attention to the science field rather than other fields like art and music.

Moreover

, from

Add an article

an economical

the economical

show examples

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

point of view, these

countries

would gain lots of money from innovations

for

Add the comma(s)

,for

show examples

example, Tesla

cars

Change the noun form

car

show examples

technology

poses a huge investment in the near future for The USA.

On the other hand

, if culture and artists are neglected by

countries

, especially modern societies, it would affect us badly, t explain that we can take Hollywood movies as an example, it poses a soft power for The USA all over the world,

however

this

fiels

Correct your spelling

field

feels

has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

significant importance, it had not put above science and

technology

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

musicians and actors take public attention and seem more attractive, governments still know how to value scientists by giving them awards

such

Nobel

Correct article usage

the Nobel

show examples

prize

Fix the agreement mistake

prizes

show examples

. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern

countries

took the right path by supporting

scientist

Fix the agreement mistake

scientists

show examples

and

technology

experts and

value

Wrong verb form

valuing

show examples

them over

artisits

Correct your spelling

artists

Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on Tue Jan 24 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Scientist and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extend do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family, while others find a family-run business unsuccessful. Discuss both opinions and present your own.