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Scientist and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extend do you agree?

#scientist #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists
It is true that nowadays scientists and
technology
 experts in modern societies and developed
countries
 are more valued than other careers
such
 as artists, I do agree with
this
 trend, I believe that they are worth special support and attention from us as individuals and from the community.
To begin
 with, the most obvious reason why
such
countries
 do
exceptional
Change the word
exceptionally
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 care for inventors and
technology
 pioneers,
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 they provide and create services beyond compare for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 in
2020
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the 2020
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 year when Covid hit the world and life on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Earth, the whole world was begging
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists to develop
bew
Correct your spelling
new
 vaccine to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 human lives.
As a result
, developed
countries
 found that they must pay more attention to the science field rather than other fields like art and music.
Moreover
, from
Add an article
an economical
the economical
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 point of view, these
countries
 would gain lots of money from innovations
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, Tesla
cars
Change the noun form
car
show examples
technology
 poses a huge investment in the near future for The USA.
On the other hand
, if culture and artists are neglected by
countries
, especially modern societies, it would affect us badly, t explain that we can take Hollywood movies as an example, it poses a soft power for The USA all over the world,
however
,
this
fiels
Correct your spelling
field
feels
 has
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
significant importance, it had not put above science and
technology
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 musicians and actors take public attention and seem more attractive, governments still know how to value scientists by giving them awards
such
 as
Nobel
Correct article usage
the Nobel
show examples
prize
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prizes
show examples
. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
countries
 took the right path by supporting
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 and
technology
 experts and
value
Wrong verb form
valuing
show examples
 them over
artisits
Correct your spelling
artists
.
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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