Children today are too dependent on computers and electronics entertainment it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Presently, children and teenagers are being influenced by cutting-edge technologies and spend more time on digital amusements rather than in real life. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will provide reasons why I disagree and express my opinion on the matter.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I will consider the detrimental impact on mental well-being.

Secondly

Linking Words

, I will explore the sedative lifestyle which fitch computers.

To begin

Linking Words

with, with the invention of the Internet and computers digital entertainment has become the most common way to relieve stress and distract our mindsets from social problems,

subsequently

Linking Words

, the immense company which creates games started to add various activities that can not be done by people in real life.

Moreover

Linking Words

, plenty of computer or phone games are bought by children

although

Linking Words

strict age restrictions,

thus

Linking Words

, obtaining detrimental data and communicating with individuals who can harm their social skills.

For instance

Linking Words

, cooperative games meant to amuse adults can contain violence and obscene language that teenagers likely hear,

consequently

Linking Words

, it leads to changing behaviour and learning bad habits.

As well as

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, cutting-edge technologies and entertainment there do not require huge physical activities.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, children who demand their growing organism in order to be strong and vent out emotions started to lead a sedative lifestyle,

therefore

Linking Words

, it lead to the degradation of their body abilities.

For example

Linking Words

, if school students spend a lot of time online and do not do regular exercise to maintain body health, it will be caused obesity and heart disease. In conclusion, in my opinion, young individuals should be implicated to do more outdoor activities to preserve their mental and physical well-being.

maxbabeshko49Wed Jan 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as awhole
Nowadays, people seem to begin staying away from reading newspapers or books. That issue makes many nations worry about continuous of literacy. From my point of view, it is caused because of too many distractions. The result of this pattern is lowering creative thinking of a person therefore making people less in detail.
4.5
band
in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative situation?
Home ownership in contrast to rental has been a long ongoing debate upon which people hold different outlooks. There might be several convincing reasons why people would rather own a
4.5
band
You recently bought some food at a supermarket, but, when you got home, you found that the food was in bad condition. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter, – explain what happened to you – give details of the day and time of the purchase – ask the manager what he/she intends to do about your experienc
I am writing to complaint about the bad coniditioned food from your supermarket.
7.5
band
Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?
In the developing world, young people are deferring the age of having a family. Even sometimes individuals cannot start a family because of genetic features. I believe that getting married and having children after their thirties is a positive trend. For the reason that they are sufficiently adult to provide for their children and to give them a brilliant upbringing.
5
band
Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree?
Salaries are defined by values brought to the company with our experience. Senior management positions typically has a higher pay gap compared to lower positions in most setup. The importance of maintaining a wide or narrow pay gap between positions doesn't always need to be decided by the hierrachy.

Children today are too dependent on computers and electronics entertainment it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as awhole

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative situation?

Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree?