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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
In order to decline the number of
crime
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crimes
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, it is still debatable whether criminals should be sent to jail for longer
period
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periods
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 of time or
related
Correct word choice
whether related
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 parties should take
another alternative ways
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another alternative way
other alternative ways
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. In my opinion, using another method will be more effective in reducing
crime
 rates,
of
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on
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 which
this
 essay is going to elaborate. On one hand,
prison
 is particularly effective in reducing
crimes
 when it is targeted at serious and repeat offenders. Providing
prison
 sentences for a long time will have a deterrent effect on criminals. They will not repeat the
crimes
 they committed because they already know how tormented they are living in a
prison
 that severely limits their freedom as human beings.
Besides
, if people are imprisoned and educated during their long
prison
 term, they will leave
prison
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good and insightful
person
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people
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 since they have learned something important from jail. Despite the above argument, I strongly believe that opening
job
 opportunities should be considerably taken as one of the alternative ways in reducing
crime
. There are motives from perpetrators to launch their actions in doing
crimes
, one of which is
economic
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an economic
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reason
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reasons
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. Regarding that, by providing as many
job
 opportunities as possible, stakeholders can help
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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 the number of
crimes
 because people are able to fulfil their needs on their own since they have a
job
 to make money from.
For instance
, a banker, who works in a state-owned enterprise, would not do
Correct article usage
a crime
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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 for economic reasons since he/she has a
job
 to earn money from to fulfil his/her daily needs. All in all,
although
 the two methods above can be applied to reduce the rate of
crime
, I believe that
by
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apply
show examples
creating as many jobs as possible it will be able to reduce the
crime
 rate because the most common reason people commit
crimes
 is
due to
 economic factors.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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