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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#stress #illnesses
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The public confronts a phenomenon in which phycological sicknesses, especially stress-related health problems are growing so much. The factors on it would be speculated as the nature of the modern hectic lifestyle and complexity of
society
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the rapid development of technology, so those who are in charge of it had better find silver bullets at once. Now, I will try my utmost to jot down the possible factors and potential solutions below for arriving at the conclusion in the end. First and foremost, the nature of modern lifestyle could inflict the phenomenon. On account of it, there are more and more pressure and tensity we hold
such
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 as paying high taxes, following strict rules and regulations and living between some strong stereotypes and the like in order to survive or to be successful in
society
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.
Hence
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, it is time to initiate a magnet bullet to promote ways to relieve our daily stress. To do it, awareness-raising campaigns or activities to give an understanding of the symptoms and effects of stress is crucial
according to
Linking Words
 my view. As far as another possible factor is proposed with the complexity of our
society
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 for the reason that exponential development of technology. In turn, sympathetic
communication
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 between communities is being less than before
whereas
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 more technical, strict, formal
communication
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 is dominant. Having seen the status quo in Mongolia, member of
society
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 prefers more
communication
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 online even with family members, friends and relatives. Even though it saves our time, humans have the natural necessity to share our feelings authentically and communicate deeply with someone. Based on
this
Linking Words
 paradigm, it is suggested to promote a strong engagement or bonding between people, especially within the family. Once and for all, It is evidently appears that awareness-raising campaigns to provide a proper understanding of
this
Linking Words
 problem should be implemented
while
Linking Words
 promoting the strong engagement of family members as an effective way to relieve stress-related sicknesses could be suggested for assuaging the phenomenon
due to
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 the nature of nowadays lifestyle and complexity of
communication
Use synonyms
 between communities.
Submitted by Jargalmaa Ganzorig on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • constant connectivity
  • job demands
  • work-related stress
  • societal pressure
  • achieve success
  • erosion
  • work-life balance
  • exposure
  • negative news
  • social media comparisons
  • chronic stress
  • mental health support
  • stigma
  • flexible work hours
  • stress management techniques
  • mindfulness
  • access to mental health services
  • community support systems
  • emotional support
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