Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.
In the plethora of communities, it is thought that the majority of
people
prefer to save their finances
in a bank or savings account as their best option to manage their funds. Meanwhile, others assume that spending money
on necessities is a preferable choice. In this
issue, I will explain clearly and in the following paragraphs, I will shed light on numerous reasons to support both views.
To commence with the facet of the discussions, there are myriad things to be shared in its favour. Generally speaking the personal monetary of someone, there are plenty of advantages that the majority of a bank can offer their specialised saving money
. Furthermore
, people
who frequently invest their funds are preparing for unexpected expenses such
as maternity, emergency health, and education, and especially avoid less debt in the future. However
, I presumably think that banks have minimal risks to saving the amount of money
because it is protected by the authorities.
Talking about the scheme that banks offer, on the other hand
, some people
think that spending on things such
as primary, secondary, and tertiary accommodations will probably be a preferable option. Nevertheless
, it is because some working-class people
assume that buying for those mentioned in the productive ages is easy. After all, they earn numerous stipends in jobs rather than just saving all the money
, which in some words, they say that you only live once. However
, I noticed a major problem in this
case. For example
, the figure of poverty nowadays is presented by boomer generations because, along with
their productive ages, they cannot plan their finances
efficiently, which results in income loss.
In conclusion, I prefer to encourage people
to carefully entrust their private finances
to professionals because the future cannot be predicted. In case something unexpected happens, individuals can manage it well. Otherwise
, investing in important things is also
a good idea as long as finances
are in good shape.Submitted by wulandarianggieta on
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task achievement
To improve your score, you should provide more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. Concrete examples can make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main argument and that transitions between ideas are smooth.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction that sets up the discussion nicely, and a conclusion that summarises your main points effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the issue and attempts to provide a balanced discussion, which is good for task achievement.