IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that private schools have many advantages while others think there have many drawbacks for the community. Discuss both sides and give an opinion

#people #schools #community
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The private
Correct article usage
Private
show examples
 institutions have been cropping up nowadays as a great option to pursue higher education.
While
Linking Words
 some people encourage admission to choose private
schools
Use synonyms
 as it offers several positive outputs, others think
otherwise
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides and give a concluding view. On the one hand, those who support attending private
schools
Use synonyms
 believe the variety of benefits
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 given to their
students
Use synonyms
. As private
schools
Use synonyms
 are required enlist to pay tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 per semester, it turns out to make
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 get more well-developed
facilities
Use synonyms
 as opposed to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public institution, which is based on government taxes. In terms of human resources, it can be seen that the majority of private
schools
Use synonyms
 are hiring
a professional teachers
Correct the article-noun agreement
professional teachers
a professional teacher
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 with a great background in their field, meaning that
students
Use synonyms
 are more convenient to study and choose their own interests.
While
Linking Words
 regarding the
facilities
Use synonyms
, it
also
Linking Words
 provides
also
Linking Words
 several fancy
facilities
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as a swimming pool, student dormitory, canteen and so on, making
students
Use synonyms
 can distribute their
hobby
Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
show examples
 outside the class schedule set.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents of
this
Linking Words
 point out that there are several drawbacks to choosing a private school, where the social gap is getting higher. In fact, all
facilities
Use synonyms
 provided by private
schools
Use synonyms
 are costly, which can not always tolerate by middle-income households.
Students
Use synonyms
 who live in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unstable
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 will not fit in the community, where most of the
students
Use synonyms
 are coming from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. What if they can not adapt to
this
Linking Words
 kind of environment which affect their academic performance?
Overall
Linking Words
, it seems advisable that the decision to choose whether to attend private or public school should meet with the financial capacity of each family, rather than the mere prestige that all children should undergo at private
schools
Use synonyms
. It would appear that
this
Linking Words
 would make
students
Use synonyms
 more convenient and pleasant to study in a match study environment.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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