IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?

#libraries #books #waste #resources #media #software #videos #dvds
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With the proliferation of high-tech media, some
people
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 hold the opinion that public libraries would be rendered obsolete if they do not provide advanced
software’s
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software
show examples
 to their users
while
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 others
asserts
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assert
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 that it is
Correct article usage
a wastage
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wastage
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waste
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 of public money.
This
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 essay will substantiate views
further
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 in the upcoming paragraphs. High-tech media is, in many ways, indeed superior to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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books in terms of functionality, entertainment ,
attraction
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and attraction
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.
For instance
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, videos and DVD functions as
a
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apply
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visual means to assist
people
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 to have a
first hand
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first-hand
show examples
 experience even though those
people
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 have not physically visited and observed
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 object which
are
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is
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 introduced in the books. More importantly,
software
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the software
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 helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
library
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 goers to update their knowledge daily basis;
on the contrary
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, books take multiple months to be published which in turn
render
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renders
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 their content outdated
in
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to
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 some extent.
In addition
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,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
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 computer learning become an essential skill ,
thus
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,
public
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a public
show examples
Use synonyms
library
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libraries
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 must assist students to learn about
computer
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computers
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 in the
library
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.
Moreover
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, it is a common practice for public libraries to share their resources via the
internet
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. Sometimes,
people
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 find their
book
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books
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 in another
library
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. They can request the librarian to send
this
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 book through the
internet
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 .
Consequently
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, they can use it online from another
library
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. For illustration, In
mostly
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most
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 developed countries
people
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 have
internet
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 access
of
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to
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the library
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library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
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 to read a book online if it is not available in that
library
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. In Conclusion,
public
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the public
a public
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authority
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authorities
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 must provide
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
,
software
Correct word choice
and software
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 to libraries.
Submitted by komal03892 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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