İt is important for people to take risks, both in their Professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It’s certainly undeniable that greater parts of things we should know solely can be acquired through our own experiences. In pursuit of a fulfilled life, both our professional and personal lives require a great deal of aspiration to personal knowledge.
However
, there are some exceptions to learning through personal involvement that we should avoid. This
essay will discuss both side
.
On the one hand, people cannot progress in their lives without taking risks. In order to make Change to a plural noun
sides
right
Correct article usage
the right
desicions
later in life we should not be afraid of making the wrong ones. Some mistakes enable people to grasp Correct your spelling
decisions
further
knowledge in their profession. For example
, an economist who has never speculated misleadingly on financial politics, leading to fluctuations in foreign currency, may never gain insight into the exceptions of economic policies. Likewise
, i child who has never tried to swimming alone, may to
not be able to overcome his hydrophobia over time. From Change preposition
apply
this
point of view, it is essential to be open to taking risks in all areas of our lives.
On the other hand
, there are some things that we might already know that are wrong without taking a risk, and we should not experience these kinds of occurrences. If i
were to give an example, to understand being addicted to any drugs Change the capitalization
I
is
affects our health and Unnecessary verb
apply
stimulate
our brains adversely we don’t need to experience these types of medicines or drugs. Correct subject-verb agreement
stimulates
Additionally
, to be a lawyer or to understand why we should refrain from some immoral behaviours, we don’t have to commit a serious offense
.
Change the spelling
offence
To conclude
, although
there are some exceptions that we should avoid, the pros outweigh the drawbacks. The significant point is understanding the importance of striking a balance.Submitted by aleynacanacikel on
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Introduction and Conclusion Clarity
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance. While you have an introduction, making your thesis statement more explicit would strengthen your essay.
Supporting Examples
Stay focused on specific examples to back up your points. Your essay would benefit from more detailed and concrete examples to illustrate your arguments.
Logical Structure
Work on making your transitions between paragraphs smoother and your argument flow more logical. Using phrases that clearly link ideas and paragraphs can help achieve this.
Grammar and Vocabulary
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Task Achievement
To improve your task achievement score, ensure that all parts of the prompt are thoroughly addressed. Expanding on how the advantages outweigh the disadvantages with clearer supporting arguments could strengthen your essay.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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