You have a suggestion for a park near your apartment building. Write a letter to your city's council board. In your letter: •Describe who you are and what your suggestion is •Explain why you think this suggestion will improve the park •Detail when you would like to see this suggestion in action Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:

#suggestion #park #apartment #city #council #board #•describe #•explain #•detail #action #addresses

Dear Councilor, I hope

this

message finds you well. My name is Trang Dao, and I am a resident of Neighborhood 9 living near Cinema

Park

. I am writing to propose an idea aimed at enhancing the

park

's facilities and

overall

community

engagement. I suggest that the council consider adding a

community

garden

within the

park

This

initiative would not only beautify the area but

also

provide residents with a unique opportunity to participate in gardening, learn about sustainable practices, and foster a greater sense of

community

Such

garden

could serve as a gathering space for workshops, social events, and educational activities focused on horticulture and environment conservation.

Furthermore

, establishing a

community

garden

could significantly improve the

park

by attracting more visitors and encouraging residents to connect with nature and each other. I would love to see

this

project implemented in time for the upcoming spring season, which would allow the

community

to begin

planting and enjoying the

garden

together. Thank you for considering my suggestion. I look forward to your positive response. Sincerely, Trang Dao

Submitted by minhtrang.dao on Sun Nov 24 2024

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task achievement

Ensure to expand slightly more on how the community garden will specifically lead to educational opportunities or social events.

task achievement

The letter addresses all the task requirements effectively, proposing a suggestion, explaining its benefits, and giving a timeframe for implementation.

coherence cohesion

The letter is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

Appropriate language and tone are used throughout, reflecting consideration and respect.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

177 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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