IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You have a suggestion for a park near your apartment building. Write a letter to your city's council board. In your letter: •Describe who you are and what your suggestion is •Explain why you think this suggestion will improve the park •Detail when you would like to see this suggestion in action Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:

#suggestion #park #apartment #city #council #board #•describe #•explain #•detail #action #addresses
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Dear Councilor, I hope
this
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 message finds you well. My name is Trang Dao, and I am a resident of Neighborhood 9 living near Cinema
Park
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. I am writing to propose an idea aimed at enhancing the
park
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's facilities and
overall
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community
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 engagement. I suggest that the council consider adding a
community
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garden
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 within the
park
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.
This
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 initiative would not only beautify the area but
also
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 provide residents with a unique opportunity to participate in gardening, learn about sustainable practices, and foster a greater sense of
community
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.
Such
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 a
garden
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 could serve as a gathering space for workshops, social events, and educational activities focused on horticulture and environment conservation.
Furthermore
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, establishing a
community
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garden
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 could significantly improve the
park
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 by attracting more visitors and encouraging residents to connect with nature and each other. I would love to see
this
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 project implemented in time for the upcoming spring season, which would allow the
community
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to begin
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 planting and enjoying the
garden
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 together. Thank you for considering my suggestion. I look forward to your positive response. Sincerely, Trang Dao
Submitted by minhtrang.dao on

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task achievement
Ensure to expand slightly more on how the community garden will specifically lead to educational opportunities or social events.
task achievement
The letter addresses all the task requirements effectively, proposing a suggestion, explaining its benefits, and giving a timeframe for implementation.
coherence cohesion
The letter is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Appropriate language and tone are used throughout, reflecting consideration and respect.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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