IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Recently you saw an article in a newspaper/journal about a city/town you know and some of the information in the article was incorrect. Write a letter to the editor regarding this. In your letter, you should tell: - how you know about this city/town; - what information was incorrect; - what the editor should do about this.

6.5 / 9
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my disagreement with the information provided in the article published in your newspaper
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 about the city of Mumbai. I am
resident
Add an article
a resident
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 urban centre
from
Change preposition
for the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 33 years, as I was born and raised in
this
Linking Words
 city. In the second paragraph, under the article "The Capital of Dreams", the population numbers mentioned are inaccurate. I am a regular reader of your publication, and
last
Linking Words
 month , your daily publication published the right figures.
Moreover
Linking Words
, my city is less populated compared to the rest of the Indian metros. Overpopulation leads to high traffic and housing affordability problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe
this
Linking Words
 number is putting my place in a bad light. The population of Mumbai is 21.7 million, but the writer of the article mentioned it as 30 million. Many foreign visitors could turn away from visiting
this
Linking Words
 place, because they might avoid visiting
this
Linking Words
 densely crowded area, and there will be a drop in tourist footfall. It would be a good idea if
this
Linking Words
 editorial were republished with correct figures and more information about tourist attractions in
this
Linking Words
 place. Yours faithfully, S

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task response
Say more clearly how you know the true number, such as by naming an official city report. This will make your point stronger.
task response
Ask the editor to print a short note to correct the wrong fact. You can also ask them to check facts before they print future stories.
task response
Keep the main aim clear: the wrong number should be fixed. The part about tourist sites is less important and may take focus away from your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Put the wrong fact and the correct fact closer together so the reader can see the problem at once.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links such as “However”, “For this reason”, and “As a result” to show how your ideas are linked.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long. Split them into two shorter sentences to make the letter easier to read.
task response
You cover all the key parts: your link to Mumbai, the wrong fact, and what the editor should do.
task response
Your tone is polite and right for a letter to a newspaper editor.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are suitable, and the letter is set out in clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The letter moves in a clear order from the problem to the possible result and then to your request.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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