Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

There is an opinion that most
number
Change to a plural noun
numbers
show examples
of icons of modern pop culture are well-known rather by their
handsome
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handsomeness
show examples
and income but
art
Replace the word
artistic
show examples
skills,
thus
they become
a
Change the article
the
show examples
worst example for teens.
Although
there are plenty
cases
Change preposition
of cases
show examples
confirming
this
statement, namely, in changing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
appearance
without improving art skills, in my mind, there
are
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is
show examples
multitude
Add an article
a multitude
show examples
of artists who gives an excellent influent
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
youth
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
in charity activities.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
essay will be embraced both pros and cons effects to miners.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
I will give my own opinion. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
sources are keen on telling about external qualities
oppose
Correct word choice
as oppose
show examples
to inner content
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
leads to
popularization
Add an article
the popularization
show examples
of
appearance
fiches.
As a result
,
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
avid readers of magazines see only news about what
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
he or she bought or
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
what kind of dress she
wearing
Wrong verb form
wears
show examples
on
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at
show examples
party
Add an article
the party
a party
show examples
. Actually,
such
method
Correct article usage
a method
show examples
of collecting and receiving information is very easy,
therefore
it is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
massive character.
In addition
, it has
as
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
aim
Correct subject-verb agreement
aims
show examples
to knock
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
young immature minds.
As a consequence
, propaganda gets
a goals
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a goal
goals
show examples
by hocking teenagers who as sooner
color
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colour
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
hear
Correct your spelling
heart
show examples
as read an art essay.
On the other hand
, there
many
Add a missing verb
are many
show examples
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youths who
attracted
Add a missing verb
are attracted
show examples
more to
achievements
Correct article usage
the achievements
show examples
of
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
but
Correct word choice
than
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
appearance
.
In addition
, there are
also
journals and articles which
tells
Correct subject-verb agreement
tell
show examples
stories based on some concerts or exhibitions of famous,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
contributes to
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
of demand for real arts. Resulting in locating explorers who
appeals
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appeal
show examples
to
inner
Add an article
the inner
show examples
world of people.
Consequently
, each source of info will find
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
consumer. A very important example of positive influence is involving people in activities
links
Wrong verb form
linked
show examples
to
aid
Correct article usage
the aid
show examples
of poor persons or making a donation for supporting an area in developing countries. In conclusion, in spite of
mind-blow
Correct article usage
the mind-blow
show examples
appearance
often
Correct pronoun usage
that often
show examples
leads to
easy going
Add a hyphen
easy-going
show examples
of youth, I believe that benefit of involving youth in charity activities is overweight cons,
thus
I disagree in maximum with
statement
Add an article
the statement
a statement
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
topic
Add an article
the topic
show examples
of
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
essay.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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