Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
There is an opinion that most
number
of icons of modern pop culture are well-known rather by their Change to a plural noun
numbers
handsome
and income but Replace the word
handsomeness
art
skills, Replace the word
artistic
thus
they become a
worst example for teens. Change the article
the
Although
there are plenty cases
confirming Change preposition
of cases
this
statement, namely, in changing of
Change preposition
apply
appearance
without improving art skills, in my mind, there are
Change the verb form
is
multitude
of artists who gives an excellent influent Add an article
a multitude
to
youth Change preposition
on
especially
in charity activities. Add the comma(s)
,especially
In
Change preposition
This
this
essay will be embraced both pros and cons effects to miners. Also
I will give my own opinion.
On the one Add a comma
,Also
hand
most Add a comma
,hand
of
Change preposition
apply
public
sources are keen on telling about external qualities Add an article
the public
oppose
to inner content Correct word choice
as oppose
it
leads to Correct pronoun usage
which
popularization
of Add an article
the popularization
appearance
fiches. As a result
, an
avid readers of magazines see only news about what Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
did
he or she bought or Unnecessary verb
apply
may be
what kind of dress she Correct your spelling
maybe
wearing
Wrong verb form
wears
on
Change preposition
at
party
. Actually, Add an article
the party
a party
such
method
of collecting and receiving information is very easy, Correct article usage
a method
therefore
it is most
massive character. Correct article usage
the most
In addition
, it has as
Correct your spelling
an
aim
to knock Correct subject-verb agreement
aims
in to
young immature minds. Join the words
into
As a consequence
, propaganda gets a goals
by hocking teenagers who as sooner Correct the article-noun agreement
a goal
goals
color
Change the spelling
colour
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
hear
as read an art essay.
Correct your spelling
heart
On the other hand
, there many
Add a missing verb
are many
among
youths who Change preposition
apply
attracted
more to Add a missing verb
are attracted
achievements
of Correct article usage
the achievements
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
but
Correct word choice
than
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
appearance
. In addition
, there are also
journals and articles which tells
stories based on some concerts or exhibitions of famous, Correct subject-verb agreement
tell
it
contributes to Correct pronoun usage
which
construction
of demand for real arts. Resulting in locating explorers who Add an article
the construction
appeals
to Change the verb form
appeal
inner
world of people. Add an article
the inner
Consequently
, each source of info will find his
consumer. A very important example of positive influence is involving people in activities Correct pronoun usage
its
links
to Wrong verb form
linked
aid
of poor persons or making a donation for supporting an area in developing countries.
In conclusion, in spite of Correct article usage
the aid
mind-blow
Correct article usage
the mind-blow
appearance
often
leads to Correct pronoun usage
that often
easy going
of youth, I believe that benefit of involving youth in charity activities is overweight cons, Add a hyphen
easy-going
thus
I disagree in maximum with statement
Add an article
the statement
a statement
in
Change preposition
apply
topic
of Add an article
the topic
current
essay.Add an article
the current
Submitted by Allazhar on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example