IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Most artist earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, certain professions,
such
Linking Words
 as
artists
Use synonyms
, have faced increasing challenges
due to
Linking Words
 declining public recognition of their
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 lack of appreciation often leads to insufficient income, making it difficult for
artists
Use synonyms
 to support themselves and their families.
As a result
Linking Words
, the question arises: should governments provide financial assistance to
artists
Use synonyms
? From my perspective,
while
Linking Words
 all citizens should receive equal support from the
government
Use synonyms
, funding for
artists
Use synonyms
 should be carefully balanced with other societal priorities. It is undeniable that public interest in
art
Use synonyms
 has diminished in today’s fast-paced, technology-driven world. Many
artists
Use synonyms
 struggle to meet their basic living costs, and their contributions are often undervalued by society. Advocates for
government
Use synonyms
 support argue that
art
Use synonyms
 has cultural and historical significance, serving as a reflection of society’s values and traditions.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they believe funding
artists
Use synonyms
 is essential to preserve these cultural assets for future generations.
For instance
Linking Words
,
government
Use synonyms
 subsidies for public
art
Use synonyms
 projects or grants for struggling
artists
Use synonyms
 can help maintain the continuity of artistic expression within a society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, critics argue that
government
Use synonyms
 funds should be directed toward sectors that benefit a larger proportion of the population,
such
Linking Words
 as education, healthcare, and infrastructure. These areas are vital for national development and directly impact citizens’ quality of life. Opponents
also
Linking Words
 contend that
art
Use synonyms
, like any other profession, should be self-sustaining. If an artist’s
work
Use synonyms
 is valuable, they argue, it will attract private sponsorships or succeed in the market without the need for public funding.
Moreover
Linking Words
, advancements in technology have opened new avenues for
artists
Use synonyms
 to generate income independently. The rise of digital platforms and innovations like NFTs (non-fungible tokens) has revolutionized how
artists
Use synonyms
 can monetize their
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some
artists
Use synonyms
 have made millions by selling digital artwork through online marketplaces, proving that success in the
art
Use synonyms
 world does not necessarily require
government
Use synonyms
 intervention. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
 remains an important aspect of cultural identity, it should not be prioritized over other essential sectors when allocating public funds.
Artists
Use synonyms
 who produce
work
Use synonyms
 of real value can find opportunities through private sponsorships, digital platforms, or social media. Governments should focus on fostering an environment where all professions, including
art
Use synonyms
, have the tools to thrive independently, rather than providing direct financial assistance.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
While the structure is commendable, attempt to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clearer flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured paragraphs that address different aspects of the question comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are clearly supported, making the argument coherent and logical.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both perspectives, showing a balanced view.
task achievement
The use of relevant contemporary examples, like digital platforms and NFTs, adds depth to the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • economic benefits
  • tourism
  • employment
  • investment
  • government support
  • patronage
  • crowdfunding
  • allocation
  • criteria
  • artistic freedom
  • innovation
  • emerging artists
  • diverse forms
  • creative industry
  • financial struggles
  • drawbacks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: