Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening . Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages ?

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Introduction

It is often considered that in the contemporary ,era the advancement in automation is being used to look around the masses' activities,

such

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as tracking mobiles and security surveillance.

Whereas

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, a few individuals are unknown of monitoring systems. In my, inclined progress is necessary for the world and to make a secure place of living.

Thus

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this

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essay will elaborate on both the positive and negative sides which

further

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leads to a logical conclusion.

Body paragraph 1

Commencing, there are manyfold advantages of improved machinery. First, nowadays the crime rates highly surge

hence

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the developed facilities help in controlling offenders' activities.

Furthermore

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, the improved applications can mitigate serious problems by informing the legal officers within a

second

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Similarly

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, security cameras help to locate offensive activities

although

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under surveillance services always help in finding an actual criminal.

For example

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, in Delhi, the bureaucrats always used updated machinery

while

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monitoring the population's actions so they can control offenders' crime rates in the city.

Body paragraph 2

Moving

further

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, there are some drawbacks to monitoring individuals. The personal life of a person gets interrupted.

However

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, mobile tracking can easily share their crucial bank details.

In other words

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, some data is meant to be kept secret but

due to

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progress in artificial intelligence becomes unsecured.

For instance

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, in Agra, a few folks lost their all savings from their bank account because they used to save their bank details on cell phones.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, in modern times, security is crucial because the criminal movement can be resolved.

On the other hand

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, the developed technologies make the unsafe globe for netizens.

Therefore

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, the legal officers should take some action against happenings.

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Jan 26, 2023

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18
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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