IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. write a letter

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Many governments consider economic
progress
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 to be their foremost objective,
while
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 some individuals argue that other forms of
progress
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 hold equal significance for a country's
development
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. Both perspectives have merit and deserve a thorough examination. On the one hand, proponents of prioritizing economic
progress
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 argue that a robust economy is the foundation of a prosperous nation. Economic
growth
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 leads to increased employment opportunities, higher income levels, and improved standards of living. When a country's economy is thriving, the government can generate more revenue through taxes, which can
then
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 be reinvested in public services
such
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 as healthcare, education, and infrastructure.
For instance
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, countries like South Korea and Singapore have demonstrated how economic
development
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 can lead to significant advancements in other areas, lifting millions out of poverty and improving
overall
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 quality of life.
Moreover
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, a strong economy can enhance a country's global standing. It enables nations to exert greater influence on the international stage, attract foreign investment, and participate more effectively in global trade. Economic stability can
also
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 provide the resources necessary for innovation and technological advancement,
further
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 driving
progress
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.
On the other hand
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, some argue that focusing solely on economic
progress
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 can lead to the neglect of other crucial aspects of
development
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. Social
progress
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,
for example
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, is essential for creating a just and equitable society.
This
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 includes advancements in healthcare, education, human rights, and environmental sustainability. Prioritizing these areas can lead to a more inclusive society where the benefits of economic
growth
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 are distributed more equitably. Environmental sustainability is another critical area that often gets overshadowed by the pursuit of economic
growth
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. The consequences of neglecting environmental health can be severe, leading to issues
such
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 as climate change, resource depletion, and loss of biodiversity. Long-term economic
growth
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 is unsustainable if it comes at the cost of the environment.
For instance
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, the severe air pollution in cities like Beijing and New Delhi underscores the need for balancing economic
growth
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 with environmental protection. In my opinion,
while
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 economic
progress
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 is undeniably important, it should not be pursued in isolation. A holistic approach to
development
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 that
also
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 emphasizes social and environmental
progress
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 is crucial. Sustainable
development
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 should be the ultimate goal, where economic, social, and environmental objectives are integrated to ensure long-term prosperity and well-being for all citizens. In conclusion,
while
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 economic
progress
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 is a key goal for many governments, it should not overshadow the importance of social and environmental
progress
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. A balanced approach that values all forms of
development
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 is essential for creating a sustainable and prosperous future.

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logical structure
To achieve a perfect score in logical structure, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly, and ideas are clearly linked together with appropriate transitional phrases.
greeting and closing
To secure a higher score in greeting and closing, consider ending your essay with a more concise and impactful conclusion sentence.
single idea per paragraph
While you have demonstrated a strong ability to present a single idea per paragraph, be mindful of maintaining this clarity throughout, avoiding overly complex sentences when unnecessary.
complete response
For a complete response, ensure each argument is fully developed with concrete examples, which you have done well. Still, aim for slightly more depth in examples for each perspective.
suitable writing tone
The essay maintains a formal and suitable tone throughout, which is very effective for this task.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph is focused on a single idea, enhancing clarity and coherence.
logical structure
The letter contains a logical structure with a clear progression of ideas, making it easy to follow.
complete response
Conclusively addressing both perspectives showcases a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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