In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and giver your opinion.
The
government
spends a significant amount of money
on different areas, including the arts
, health
services, and education
systems. In some countries, the government
pays more attention to the arts
, and some people think this
is a positive trend, but others believe that money
should be spent on alternative areas, such
as health
, or education
. In this
essay, I will discuss both views and present my point of view.
On the one hand, funding the arts
could benefit economically to the country
because it is one of the main aspects of international tourism. One of the primary reasons for travelling overseas is the fact that tourists are always interested in foreign museums, theatres and other artistic facilities. Therefore
, if the government
spends more wages to develop and maintain its art fields, for instance
, the country
will make more profit, leading to an improved economic condition. The more money
will
Verb problem
is
spend
on the Wrong verb form
spent
arts
, the more economic growth will occur.
On the other hand
, there are other areas that need more funding, including health
and education
. The prevalence of chronic diseases, such
as obesity and diabetes, is increasing these days, causing financial problems for the citizens. For example
, the number of people who suffer from these health
issues can be reduced if the authorities focus on public health
and spend more money
to prevent
public from the diseases. Verb problem
protect
In addition
, improving the education
system may be crucial for the younger, who is
the key to developing the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
country
. Thus
, I strongly believe that spending a sufficient amount of money
on health
and education
will be more advantageous for the country
in a
long run.
Correct article usage
the
To conclude
, although
spending money
on the arts
will benefit in terms of economy, it will lead to more positive consequences if the government
spends more money
on health
and education
. I feel that this
will be the optimal way to make the country
a better place to live.Submitted by sb.angar2011 on
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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples, particularly in the paragraph discussing health and education to better illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Review the usage of transitional phrases to make your argument flow even more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
You presented your points clearly, and the essay follows a logical structure.
task achievement
Both views are discussed in a balanced manner, and your conclusion aligns well with the arguments presented.