Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The education of our
children
is one of the essential processes in our
life
and the
life
of
children
. In the world, a known
school
teaching is common and approved among most people. But some people think that teaching at home has more benefits than regular
school
. I definitely disagree with
this
argument, because it has more disadvantages than advantages in my opinion. In
this
essay, I will provide and include several examples of the benefits of both methods from my own
life
.
Firstly
, I would like to start the essay with the regular and known teaching system in governmental or private schools, where
children
have to visit the
school
every morning and study in groups of 20-30 students the whole day.
This
is the most critical social process in the lives of our
children
that can develop a lot of positive things
such
as communication with others, team gaming,
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
worry
Wrong verb form
worrying
show examples
about speaking with
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
or
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, using the technology and advanced materials that
updates
Correct subject-verb agreement
update
show examples
all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
by ministry of education depends on the demands.
Secondly
,
while
studying at
school
, they are exposed to normal and abnormal behaviour from other
children
. And
this
teaches them to protect themself in case of complicated situations in real
life
.
However
, teaching at home has a few benefits as well, and
this
system could be suitable for
children
who are disabled and can not visit regular
school
due to
their disability,
for example
. I think it can forward the
school
program significantly compared to the traditional teaching system because you have one or maybe two students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
do not disturb the teacher. The parents can control studying time, length of breaks, and days, but they can not provide the communication with other
children
that is
more important in the growing up process. So, in conclusion, parents' primary role is to
grow
Verb problem
raise
show examples
children
physically and mentally. We have to prepare them for real
life
. Many scientific kinds of research prove that the
school
teaching method is the best. The choice if it will be a governmental education or at home ut to you, and we always have to think about the best path for our
children
.
Submitted by haikin.al81 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic and appropriately discusses both methods of education. However, it would benefit from more detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments, especially in the second body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, but some points could be more developed. Adding more linking words and phrases can improve the flow of ideas. Some sentences are a bit awkwardly phrased; refining these for clarity would help.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets up the essay well.
complete response
You successfully address the advantages of both methods, which is essential for a balanced discussion on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • cater
  • flexible schedule
  • extracurricular activities
  • safe learning environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • socialization
  • diversity awareness
  • structured environment
  • discipline
  • punctuality
  • resources and facilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • specialized subjects
  • experts
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