Some argue younger people not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Now in the 21st
century
Add a comma
,century
show examples
many individuals argue that it is wrong that
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
younger
Change preposition
with younger
show examples
people
in the
government
while
others think that it is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
idea. So
in my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, in my opinion,
show examples
it would be better if younger
people
work in the
government
. On the one hand, working
older
Change preposition
with older
show examples
individuals in the
government
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
good for our
country
. Because they are more experienced
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
young employer. It means that there is no problem
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working
people
Change preposition
with people
show examples
with experience.
For example
, recently from
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
media
platform
Add a comma
,platform
show examples
I have seen that one of the
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
changed their workers
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the younger and it was
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
for financial
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
and society raised an uprising.
That is
why we should appreciate older efforts.
On the other hand
, working
younger
Change preposition
with younger
show examples
people
in the
government
can
also
play positive sides
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
government
. Younger
people
in the
government
job
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
means
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
updating for the improvements. There will be increasing work productivity they are required more and more than older
people
who should have retired a long time ago because their time already passed they should not stay here because they are making
worth
Correct pronoun usage
it worth
show examples
our
country
.
For instance
, younger
people
filled
Add a missing verb
are filled
show examples
with energy and they are never
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
up
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
achieving their aims.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
they are trying makes our
country
modern by building high-tech buildings
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. Taking everything into consideration, I think that
government
should update their workers on
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
because it is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
way
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the improvement
our
Change preposition
of our
show examples
government
Add the comma(s)
, however,
show examples
however
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
partly older workers
also
should work in the
government
for helping to
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
show examples
generation.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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