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Writing Samples
Band 5

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
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Businesses are earning money but they
also
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 should follow social
resposiblities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
. I completely agree that business people should have responsibilities towards
society
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society's
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 well-being. Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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textile
companies
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 are making a lot of money. The bi-products generated by these
companies
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 are very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 humans so it is the duty of owners to reduce
such
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waste
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 and find a better solution for decomposing
waste
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.
For instance
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, one
company
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 situated in Bangalore produced a lot of textile
waste
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 which was dumped directly
in
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into
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river
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the river
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. The Government took quick
actions
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action
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 and fined the
company
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 which led to lesser
waste
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 and clean river water. Protecting our environment should be the first
most
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apply
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priority for any business
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companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
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.
Thus
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,
owner's
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owners
show examples
 should be held responsible for
such
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 things and strict actions should be taken by the government.
On the other hand
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,
companies
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 should not only focus on profit but
also
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 on the employees they have. To deliver the deliverables on time
companies
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 are making the employee work day and night.
This
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 results in
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
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 health of employees. The people should be treated nicely and
work life
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work-life
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 balance should be maintained.
For example
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, organizing fun activities should be encouraged at
work place
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workplace
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. It is said that if one keeps their employee's happy
then
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 the projects are delivered on time. If the business people are taking care of the folks around them
then
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 that
company
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 is considered
as
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apply
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friendly.
Hence
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,
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company
Add an article
the company
a company
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 should be socially responsible because it is beneficial to
employee's
Change the noun form
employees
employee
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 and
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company
Add an article
the company
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 itself. In conclusion, I adhere that businesses should follow social responsibilities to keep their employees healthy and happy.
Submitted by rucha.khartadkar123 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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