As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities

Businesses are earning money but they

also

should follow social

resposiblities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

. I completely agree that business people should have responsibilities towards

society

Change noun form

society's

show examples

well-being. Nowadays, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

textile

companies

are making a lot of money. The bi-products generated by these

companies

are very harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

humans so it is the duty of owners to reduce

such

waste

and find a better solution for decomposing

waste

For instance

, one

company

situated in Bangalore produced a lot of textile

waste

which was dumped directly

Change preposition

into

show examples

river

Add an article

the river

show examples

. The Government took quick

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

and fined the

company

which led to lesser

waste

and clean river water. Protecting our environment should be the first

most

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

priority for any business

companies

Fix the agreement mistake

company

show examples

Thus

owner's

Change noun form

owners

show examples

should be held responsible for

such

things and strict actions should be taken by the government.

On the other hand

companies

should not only focus on profit but

also

on the employees they have. To deliver the deliverables on time

companies

are making the employee work day and night.

This

results in

bad

Correct article usage

the bad

show examples

health of employees. The people should be treated nicely and

work life

Add a hyphen

work-life

show examples

balance should be maintained.

For example

, organizing fun activities should be encouraged at

work place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

. It is said that if one keeps their employee's happy

then

the projects are delivered on time. If the business people are taking care of the folks around them

then

that

company

is considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

friendly.

Hence

company

Add an article

the company

a company

show examples

should be socially responsible because it is beneficial to

employee's

Change the noun form

employees

employee

show examples

and

company

Add an article

the company

show examples

itself. In conclusion, I adhere that businesses should follow social responsibilities to keep their employees healthy and happy.

Submitted by rucha.khartadkar123 on Fri Jan 27 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social responsibilities
Corporate social responsibility
Ethical behavior
Societal impact
Stakeholders
Profit-driven
Public perception
Environmental sustainability
Community development
Human rights
Workplace safety
Altruism
Balanced approach
Accountability
Consumer loyalty

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As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

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