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Writing Samples
Band 7

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem.

#children #countries #effects
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Obesity has been a severe problem in many developed
countries
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 where
food
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 is not short for most
people
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. Unsurprisingly, the
number
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 of overweight
children
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also
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 keeps increasing in these
countries
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.
This
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 essay explores the reasons and effects of
this
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 phenomenon. The wide use of transportation tools and the popularity of junk
food
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 are the two major causes of young
people
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's overweight.
First,
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almost every family has at least one car in wealthy
countries
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.
As a result
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, most students don't have to walk to school or a friend's place because their parents can drive them everywhere, significantly reducing the
number
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 of steps
children
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 take daily.
In addition
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, high-calorie
food
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 and drinks like chips, cakes, and soft drinks are prevalent in rich
countries
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. Young
children
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 can easily access them at school, parties, and grocery stores.
This
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food
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 usually brings
people
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 great joy and keeps them eating more. The effects of the increased
number
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 of overweight teenagers are in multiple dimensions.
First,
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it can cause more health issues for them. It is common sense that obesity leads to a higher chance of diabetes, high blood pressure, and other related diseases.
Second,
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fewer young
people
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 can play sports like baseball, basketball, and soccer.
Consequently
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, the nation with too many overweight
children
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 will be less competitive in worldwide sports like the World Cup and the Olympics. In conclusion, the increased
number
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 of overweight
children
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 in rich
countries
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 results from the popularity of cars and junk
food
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. The effects include more health problems among young
people
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 and less chance for the nation to win in worldwide sports.
Submitted by ssliao on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
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