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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others offer free entry. In my opinion, the benefits of free admission outweigh the drawbacks.

#museums #art #galleries #charge #admission #fees #offer #entry
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The educational value of museum
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
 and art
galleries
 is paramount, yet the approach to
admission
 fees varies.
While
 free entry is an optimal way to achieve a better outcome, it still has some disadvantages.
However
, I believe that the benefits of free
admission
 far outweigh its drawbacks. One significant advantage of offering free
admission
 to museums and art
galleries
 is the accessibility it provides to cultural and historical
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
.
This
 allows people of all backgrounds to engage with their heritage and gain a sense of pride in their identity.
For example
, Indigenous communities can access their cultural
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
 and learn about their ancestors' achievements in architecture and metallurgical technology.
This
 fosters a deeper connection to their history and promotes national pride. Despite the benefits, there are some drawbacks to free entry. One major disadvantage is the potential overcrowding and its impact on the visitor experience. High visitor numbers can detract from the enjoyment of artworks and lead to increased wear and tear on exhibits.
Additionally
, without the revenue from
admission
 fees, museums and
galleries
 may struggle to cover maintenance costs and pay staff salaries, putting a strain on limited resources. In conclusion,
while
 free
admission
 to museums and art
galleries
 may have its challenges,
such
 as overcrowding and financial strain, the educational benefits and accessibility it offers outweigh these drawbacks. It is crucial to prioritize educating the public about their history and culture, making free
admission
 a worthwhile investment.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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task achievement
Although the essay is well-organized, consider adding more specific statistics or studies to strengthen your argument regarding the educational benefits of free admission.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on how museums and galleries can manage the financial challenges of free admission, such as alternative revenue sources or government funding.
coherence cohesion
Well-organized with clear introduction and conclusion, making the essay easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure with each paragraph clearly focusing on different aspects of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Supported main points with relevant examples, such as the link to Indigenous communities.
task achievement
Complete response to the task, addressing both the benefits and drawbacks of free admission.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas presented throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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