It is important for people to take risks, both in their personal lives and professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives #risk

Individuals should take

risks

in their lives.Because it helps to gain

self confidence

Add a hyphen

self-confidence

show examples

and mental health.

However

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,However

show examples

there are several drawbacks as well. I believe taking risky

desicions

Correct your spelling

decisions

Add the particle

to have

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

advantages

than disadvantages.

To begin

with, There are plenty of

advantages

. Taking

risks

will help to gain your confidence to another level.

For instance

, I left my job in 2020 during

pandemic

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the pandemic

a pandemic

show examples

situation. The reason to resign is, I already had a startup.

Therefore

I wanted to develop my own business. They offered

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show examples

allowance for resigning.

Hence

I saw the opportunity and took the risk.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

it will help you to reduce your work stress or personal life stress.

For example

, one of my friends had a toxic relationship with a girl. she has always

threaten

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threatened

show examples

him saying, she will die if he left her.

Due to

this

reason

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,reason

show examples

he was depressed.

Finally

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,Finally

show examples

he has taken the decision to break up. Now both of them are happy as he took the correct

desicion

Correct your spelling

decision

at the correct time.

Therefore

I think it's extremely valuable to take

risks

in your day-to-day life.

On the other hand

, The main advantage is, you cannot 100% predict the future. Sometimes the decision you made will lead you to suffer for a certain time. But

eventually

Add a comma

,eventually

show examples

you will be back to normal.

For example

, one of my friends lost his job

last

year,

Therefore

he planned on migrating. He has paid 25laks for an agent. But

unfortunately

Add a comma

,unfortunately

show examples

he lost the money. He suffered

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

but he didn't give up. He searched for more options.

finally

Add a comma

,finally

show examples

he was able to migrate to Canada through the Express Entry program. In conclusion,

This

essay discussed the

advantages

of taking

risks

. it is true the

advantages

outweigh it drawbacks.

Submitted by murph on Sat Jan 28 2023

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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