Governments spend a large amount of money every year on works of art. ( for example, pain things & sculptures ) Do you think this is a good or bad use of public money ?

It is argued that taking a risk in both their professional and personal
lives
has positive or negative effects. In my view,
although
it brings some problems towards the environment and to their own financial status, the advantage is more important and meaningful. On the one
hand
, it is undeniable that taking
risks
brings problems.
First,
it endangers the environment.
For instance
, in the shipping industry where I work, if I take a risk
such
as letting a ship push through a typhoon at her normal speed, in the worst case, she can lose her balance and can be sunk.
This
will end up with oil leakage into the ocean and it will damage the water quality.
Second,
it will dramatically affect people’s financial status. If I decide to study abroad in my personal life, it costs so much and can cause bankruptcy.
On the other
hand
, there are numerous merits to taking
risks
.
It is clear that
innovation
always comes with
risks
hand
in
hand
,
in other words
, without taking a risk, there is no
innovation
occurred.
This
brought us more advanced and healthy lifestyles.
For instance
, during COVID-19, at the ,beginning there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
no cure solutions
therefore
many people who were infected had severe symptoms. Researchers took
risks
and invented vaccines within a couple of months, and they saved many people’s
lives
.
Furthermore
, taking
risks
in our personal
lives
such
as going abroad to study, will enrich our experience and build connections beyond the border, which is absolutely meaningful in our
lives
. In conclusion,
although
taking
risks
has negative effects
such
as damaging the environment and reducing our money, my view is that its
merit
Fix the agreement mistake
merits
show examples
such
as bringing
innovation
and improving our quality of life outweigh those disadvantages. With proper preparation and collaboration,
risks
can be a chance for new
innovation
and a step forward to a brighter future.
Submitted by Sola on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and clearly present the main points. The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and logical organization. Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented but need to be more focused on the question. Relevant specific examples are provided but can be further developed and linked more explicitly to the main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks a clear and consistent focus. The response needs to be more specific and directly tied to the question. The ideas are generally well-developed but could benefit from a more structured approach to fully address the prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • national pride
  • traditional arts
  • stimulating the economy
  • public art installations
  • support staff
  • enhancing local businesses
  • driving economic growth
  • public spaces
  • community engagement
  • quality of life
  • residents
  • educational programs
  • school curriculums
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • controversies
  • alternative investments
  • limited public resources
  • essential services
  • private sponsorship
  • collaborate
  • funding
  • cultural benefits
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