The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015.

The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided table illustrates the data on
problems
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

struggled
Verb problem
faced

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
by children in two different primary schools in 2005 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, following instructions and concentrating on lesson
problems
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

saw a significant decrease in school A.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the handwriting problem was the same for the two schools in both years. In school A around 41% of total children had
problems
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with concentration in lessons and following instructions in 2015 which declined noticeably to 18% for both. Despite
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

also
Rephrase
apply

There may be an adverb issue here.

show examples
listening skills and verbal expression of the issues of the idea reduced by both 15% and were about one-fifth respectively. Meanwhile, reading
problems
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

remained almost the same as in 2005. In school B
highest-problematic
Correct your spelling
highest problematic

The word highest-problematic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
sections were a verbal expression of ideas and concentration in lessons with 14% and 15% in 2005. Whilst verbal expression of ideas
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems

It seems that problem may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
increased by 1% in 2015, concentration in lessons didn't change.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, spelling and following instructions had gone up by approximately 5% together.
Submitted by prostoy.pacan4ek on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words problems with synonyms.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: