IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend lage sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion

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Certain individuals in a number of territories claim that the authorities should spend large amounts of money building new railway lines for swift
trains
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 between cities.
However
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, others argue that the
governor
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 should spend
this
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 money on improving current public
transportation
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. The following essay explains why I wholeheartedly agree with the first statement. On the one hand, the authority clearly invests in new
transportation
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technology
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 as it develops. Rapid
trains
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also
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 encourage people to use public
transportation
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 more frequently.
In addition
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, the old one cost a lot, which is reasonable; the government constructed a new one.
For instance
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, Japan has constructed new railway lines designed for extremely fast
trains
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, which have assisted governors in encouraging people to use public transit more frequently
instead
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 of private vehicles. For another example, the construction of new and developed railways in Iran saves the Iranian government money, despite the initial high cost.
On the other hand
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, improving the current public
transportation
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 is less expensive than building new
ones
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. Expanding the current limited public
transportation
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 not only improves assistance but
also
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 reduces costs compared to constructing new
ones
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.
Moreover
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, just because the current
trains
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 are slower than the new
ones
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 doesn't mean we should replace them.
Technology
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 advances annually, and if the authority consistently replaces the new
trains
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, it would incur significant costs for taxpayers.
For example
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, the
governor
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 of Germany just enhances and develops the current public transit, which costs so little for taxpayers and works so well. For another example,
technology
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 is developed;
however
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, the
governor
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 of China does not replace the current public transit with new vehicles.
However
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, the China
governor
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, when it wants to develop new lines, uses the new
technology
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. In conclusion, some individuals argue that governors should invest in public transport to replace it with a faster version. Others,
however
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, contend that funding for the new
ones
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 should go toward improving the state of public transport.

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relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant examples to better illustrate your points. For instance, you might highlight the specific advantages some countries experience with swift trains versus relying solely on current systems.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure ideas are fully developed and articulated clearly. Provide more depth when explaining why a particular viewpoint is supported.
complete response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, clearly presenting your opinion while contrasting it with an opposing view.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
supported main points
The points in the essay are supported with examples and logical conclusions, reinforcing the arguments made.
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