These days, in some countries, an increasing number of young adults are choosing to spend their whole weekend inside their own homes Why do you think this is happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

In
this
contemporary era, several younger people
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
to spend their weekends at their dwelling place in numerous territories.
This
essay shall articulate a positive view before reaching a personal conclusion because I believe that individuals must enjoy their breaks. To commence with, many youngsters are relishing their vacations at their birthplace because they must relax and calm their bodies. Natives cannot feel good on working days
due to
the high pressure of work and hectic schedules. Videlicet, adults should work in huge industries to earn some money.
Therefore
, it feels tired and exhausted. When they spend their time at accommodation. They have some opportunities to relax their body
as well as
mind.
For example
, Oxford University in the USA revealed that more than two-fifths of residents are living in pressured life and they cannot enjoy their life in the correct way.
Thus
, numerous inhabitants should like to spend time with their family members.
Furthermore
, the fact cannot be denied that guardians are an essential part of an individual's life. Working human must spend their leisure time with their mother and father. They should enjoy themselves and make some good memories. They must watch television and see entertainment shows.
For instance
, W.H.O (World
health organization
Correct your spelling
Health Organization
show examples
) clearly that funny serials
are helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
to make stress free mind. When it is watching with parents, they can enjoy their holidays in better ways.
As a result
, it has several advantages when the inhabitants spend their weekends with their mother and father.
To conclude
, unquestionably, it has only a positive side because every adult people
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
to spend their vacations in their residential area. They can effortlessly live a proper heart.
Submitted by lovishh on

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Task Response: The essay discusses a positive view of young adults spending their weekends at home but does not fully address the prompt. It lacks a balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects, and the conclusion does not sufficiently summarize the arguments.
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Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates some logical structure and supported main points, but the introduction and conclusion are weak and lack clarity. There is a need for better organization and connection between ideas to improve overall coherence and cohesion.
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