Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Childhood
obesity
is one of the leading problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
children
facing
today, which is Wrong verb form
face
major
concern because it can lead to other serious medical conditions like heart Add an article
a major
problem
, high pressure and type 2 diabetes. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Other
think that Fix the agreement mistake
Others
government
is responsible in
the increasing number of obese Change preposition
for
children
, I totally disagree that government
is accountable in
Change preposition
for
this
issue and has only played lesser
Add an article
a lesser
role
.
Change noun form
Government's
Government
Correct article usage
The government
role
in obesity
mostly focus in
interventions and policies Change preposition
on
such
as national surveillance, obesity
education and awareness, also
they
can pursue Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
school-based nutrition program Correct article usage
apply
like
Change preposition
apply
for example
all the children
are only obligate
to put nutritious food like vegetables and fruits in their lunchbox Replace the word
obligated
while
sugary foods like commercial juices, chocolates and candies are ban. In this
way
they can teach the Add a comma
,way
children
to eat healthy and balance diet. They can help in
interventions and giving Change preposition
with
policy
to the schools in order for the youngster to avoid gaining extra weight.
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
However
, changing lyfestyle
and dietary patterns Correct your spelling
lifestyle
lifestyles
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
the
major Correct article usage
a
role
in obesity
in children
. In the technological world today like
having Change preposition
apply
ipad
, smartphones, video games and Correct your spelling
iPad
internet
glued the Correct article usage
the internet
children
in
Change preposition
to
this
devices and technology. They spent hours in screen time and playing video games, Correct determiner usage
these
while
these young ones should go outside and play outdoors to burn some calories and promote good circulation. Furthermore
their dietary patterns are more likely to be unhealthy, most Add a comma
,Furthermore
of
Change preposition
apply
the
people often go to Correct article usage
apply
the
restaurant and eat fast foods, that contains more fats, calories and sugar. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
the chances of gaining weight is increase
.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
is increased
is increasing
while
government
have an important role
in rising obesity
among children
, parents have the
major control. As they said everything starts in the house, parents should educate and be a good example to their Change the article
a
children
.Submitted by leoriemadeo1287 on
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I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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