Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Childhood
obesity
is one of the leading Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
children
Use synonyms
facing
today, which is Wrong verb form
face
major
concern because it can lead to other serious medical conditions like heart Add an article
a major
problem
, high pressure and type 2 diabetes. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Other
think that Fix the agreement mistake
Others
government
is responsible Use synonyms
in
the increasing number of obese Change preposition
for
children
, I totally disagree that Use synonyms
government
is accountable Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
this
issue and has only played Linking Words
lesser
Add an article
a lesser
role
.
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Change noun form
Government's
Government
Correct article usage
The government
role
in Use synonyms
obesity
mostly focus Use synonyms
in
interventions and policies Change preposition
on
such
as national surveillance, Linking Words
obesity
education and awareness, Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
they
can pursue Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
school-based nutrition program Correct article usage
apply
like
Change preposition
apply
for example
all the Linking Words
children
are only Use synonyms
obligate
to put nutritious food like vegetables and fruits in their lunchbox Replace the word
obligated
while
sugary foods like commercial juices, chocolates and candies are ban. In Linking Words
this
Linking Words
way
they can teach the Add a comma
,way
children
to eat healthy and balance diet. They can help Use synonyms
in
interventions and giving Change preposition
with
policy
to the schools in order for the youngster to avoid gaining extra weight.
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
However
, changing Linking Words
lyfestyle
and dietary patterns Correct your spelling
lifestyle
lifestyles
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
the
major Correct article usage
a
role
in Use synonyms
obesity
in Use synonyms
children
. In the technological world today Use synonyms
like
having Change preposition
apply
ipad
, smartphones, video games and Correct your spelling
iPad
internet
glued the Correct article usage
the internet
children
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
Linking Words
this
devices and technology. They spent hours in screen time and playing video games, Correct determiner usage
these
while
these young ones should go outside and play outdoors to burn some calories and promote good circulation. Linking Words
Linking Words
Furthermore
their dietary patterns are more likely to be unhealthy, most Add a comma
,Furthermore
of
Change preposition
apply
the
people often go to Correct article usage
apply
the
restaurant and eat fast foods, that contains more fats, calories and sugar. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
the chances of gaining weight Linking Words
is increase
.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
is increased
is increasing
while
Linking Words
government
have an important Use synonyms
role
in rising Use synonyms
obesity
among Use synonyms
children
, parents have Use synonyms
the
major control. As they said everything starts in the house, parents should educate and be a good example to their Change the article
a
children
.Use synonyms
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.