IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main fitures and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main fitures and make comparisons where relevant
#changes #place #west #park #school #construction #information #fitures #comparisons
The map depicts the alteration of West
Park
 Secondary School which
surveyed
Add a missing verb
was surveyed
show examples
 in 1950, 1980, and 2010. In general, in 1980, the building focused on places that related to
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and
hobby
Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
show examples
.
Whereas
 in 2010 concentrated
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 enlargement of
parking
Add an article
the parking
show examples
 area. In detail, before being altered into
parking
Correct article usage
a parking
show examples
 area and science block in 1980, the land was fully constructed by residential areas and farmland.
Furthermore
, parking spaces
constructed
Add a missing verb
were constructed
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east side of
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
 block so people
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to
park
 their cars there.
In addition
, the secondary school and the playground
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
located behind the school
were remained
Change to the active voice
remained
have remained
show examples
 fairly unchanged.
On the other hand
, the environment of West
Park
 concentrated on the bigger size of
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
park
. After
changed
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 the size of the parking spaces, the government resized
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 paces and
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
show examples
. It might be happened because of the bigger population in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
West
Park
.
Submitted by rafiaufa18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: