Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, is it a good or bad thing? Discuss tour opinion.

#people #gadgets #tour

Human nature is always wanting more and cannot to content with what they have, so some people are addicted to purchasing newly released devices every now and

then

. In my own point of view, I consider a negative habit, for it is likely to be impractical and shows unmanageable

self discipline

Add a hyphen

self-discipline

show examples

. Some people are constantly buying new upgraded technology, which I found

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

unrealistic and impractical since it is not really necessary,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

they just want to show off to their mates that they have the latest version of the device. For ,instance one college student purchased the new iPhone pro-max, and on the other day, another student will probably have the same and show that he can have it too.

This

attitude will make someone broke

while

trying to look rich. Out of self-control in order to buy

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

newly released

iPhones

Fix the agreement mistake

iPhone

show examples

and

indulge

Wrong verb form

indulging

show examples

yourself in

this

materialistic world shows poor discipline. Lack of self-discipline is often linked to fear of failure, that you cannot get what you want even though you tried so hard to get it.

Forfor

Correct your spelling

For

instance, if a person is in a state of panic buying, they tend to get everything for the reason that being afraid not to have it anymore.

This

attitude should be tolerated,

however

, it has to be overcome before it will lead to a

further

struggle in the future, which is not good as well in the mental health of the person. In conclusion, indulging ourselves in newly released technology inculcate a bad habit of impulsive buying,

instead

invest

something

Change preposition

in something

show examples

that is

crucial in the future.

Submitted by leoriemadeo1287 on Sat Jan 28 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world?
There are too many countries in our world dependent on the tourism sector for a wealthy economy. Sadly, tourism can also be an issue if not controlled as well.While this approach offers certain advantages, it is essential to consider the accompanying disadvantages as well.
6.5
band
Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contributions to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some, but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways to encourage employees to work hard?
Some employers give money to deserving employees when they make great contributions to their company. In this essay, I will discuss two features relating to the effective extent of this style of management and superior ways to motivate employees to work hard.
4.5
band
Global warming is one of the most the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What measures can government and individuals take tackle this issue ?
In this era, our environment is facing a tremendous amount of pollution and leading to the greenhouse effect which is a very important matter. This writing will discuss planting trees and reducing the number of private vehicles used as the solution for this issue.
6.5
band
11.Some people believe that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people’s life therefore the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The 21st century has seen numerous technological advancements, the most significant being in health and defence. People argue that art funds should go to medical and the protection of the nation. In my opinion, arts improve mental health and the government keeps a portion of its funding. In this essay, the importance of arts and why the government should keep funding will be discussed.
4.5
band
Some people say that feeling of competition should be encouraged in children others say they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion?
Children are the tender buds of the society and they are required to be taught true values of life. Therefore, some people tend to believe that feeling of competition should be infused in them while others believe that the possession of cooperative values is required for them. I will discuss the merits and demerits of both aspects before reaching to any opinion.

Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, is it a good or bad thing? Discuss tour opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world?

Global warming is one of the most the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What measures can government and individuals take tackle this issue ?

11.Some people believe that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people’s life therefore the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that feeling of competition should be encouraged in children others say they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion?