IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that violence in the media, such as in television programs and films, directly results in violent behavior. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #violence #media #television #programs #films #results #behavior
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Recently ,
violence
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more and more spreading and affecting
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
residents
Change noun form
residents'
resident's
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children.Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the television programs and films which show
violence
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the reason for
this
Linking Words
while
Linking Words
 others think these programs have no considerable impact on
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 society.In my point of view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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 social media is one of
vital
Correct article usage
the vital
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factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
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 that results in
this
Linking Words
 issue. The reason is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children nowadays
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 lots of their spare time watching films and playing some games which have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violence
Use synonyms
 in
those
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 as it brings a number of interesting feeling
in
Change preposition
to
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 their acting scenes.And some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers
Add an article
the teenagers
show examples
 are fond of imitating the things
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in films and games.To illustrates,when the film”The dark knight rises”
debut
Wrong verb form
debuted
show examples
 in theatres,a guy imitated the killer and
shooted
Correct your spelling
shot
show examples
 at the viewers
then
Linking Words
 made 12 individuals
died
Wrong verb form
die
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,when
people
Use synonyms
 see too much
violence
Use synonyms
 on tv and
games
Change preposition
in games
show examples
,they start to think that
this
Linking Words
 is
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
normal.Despite the pain that it can cause,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 take these for granted and do have no remarkable effect.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 feeling causes more crimes and
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
 vices. To summarize.violent content is not good for the youth
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if
people
Use synonyms
habituated
Add a missing verb
are habituated
show examples
 to watching
violence
Use synonyms
 and try to copy those.it will negatively
affected
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 the society
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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