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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people believe that violence in the media, such as in television programs and films, directly results in violent behavior. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #violence #media #television #programs #films #results #behavior
Recently ,
violence
are
Change the verb form
is
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 more and more spreading and affecting
on
Change preposition
apply
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residents
Change noun form
residents'
resident's
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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,especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children.Some
people
 argue that the television programs and films which show
violence
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the reason for
this
while
 others think these programs have no considerable impact on
today
Change noun form
today's
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 society.In my point of view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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 social media is one of
vital
Correct article usage
the vital
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factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
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 that results in
this
 issue. The reason is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children nowadays
spends
Change the verb form
spend
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 lots of their spare time watching films and playing some games which have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violence
 in
those
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 as it brings a number of interesting feeling
in
Change preposition
to
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 their acting scenes.And some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers
Add an article
the teenagers
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 are fond of imitating the things
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in films and games.To illustrates,when the film”The dark knight rises”
debut
Wrong verb form
debuted
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 in theatres,a guy imitated the killer and
shooted
Correct your spelling
shot
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 at the viewers
then
 made 12 individuals
died
Wrong verb form
die
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.
Furthermore
,when
people
 see too much
violence
 on tv and
games
Change preposition
in games
show examples
,they start to think that
this
 is
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
normal.Despite the pain that it can cause,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 take these for granted and do have no remarkable effect.
Therefore
,
this
 feeling causes more crimes and
society
Replace the word
societal
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 vices. To summarize.violent content is not good for the youth
as
Correct word choice
apply
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if
people
habituated
Add a missing verb
are habituated
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 to watching
violence
 and try to copy those.it will negatively
affected
Change the verb form
affect
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 the society
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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