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Band 7

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more diadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #diadvantages
There is a widely held perception in many parts of the world today that today's
people
work
 long hours for their families.
As a result
, they are leaving very little time for leisure activities and other relaxing holidays. It has both negative and positive points. I personally believe that the drawbacks of
this
 situation are greater than the benefits, serious though these are. These drawbacks are twofold. On the one hand,
people
 cannot
work
 well without taking a rest. After hard
work
, they need some time for rest.
Moreover
, I think that nowadays
people
 tend to follow fashion.
For
this
 reason, they
work
 a lot to provide their families with fashionable clothes and other important things. Yet, there are a lot of employers and they cannot stop working without earning money, even in winter.
Furthermore
, working long hours make
people
 more ill and injured.
On the other hand
, the modern lifestyle includes summer holidays on the beach and working five days a week can bring strength to
people
. After an enjoyable holiday
people
's brain works very well.
While
 some
people
 think that it has negatively affected our lives, I personally believe that it has actually made the world a much better place.
To conclude
, I reiterate my position that, nowadays many
people
 are leaving too little time for relaxing and taking a rest. Because they
work
 long hours.
This
 is
such
 a complex problem that I do not believe any real solution will be found in the near future. I think that the disadvantages of
this
 phenomenon are outweighed the advantages, even serious though these are.
Submitted by asqar4997 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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