Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There are two controversial perspectives heating a debate over the importance of researching family
history
. While
some claim that people
should research our forefathers' stories in the past, the
other makes a statement that focusing on the present and future generations is more crucial. It is optimal for me to combine both mentioned ideas.
Without a shadow of a doubt, spending Correct article usage
apply
time
learning about family history
is essential. Because having
a wealth of knowledge of family Correct word choice
Having
tree
plays Fix the agreement mistake
trees
do
wonders Unnecessary verb
apply
the
way Change preposition
in the
people
cherish the tradition
of their family. Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
For instance
, by taking time
to study and research young people
will know their family has a rich history
of pottery making.Furthermore
, they may know that their ancestors have created various luxury items that were used to serve the noble class in the past. As a
result
those Add a comma
result,
people
will preserve all the great things their forefathers have passed for them and avoid the disappearance of the ceramic technique. Hence
, it is important for us to study our family history
.
On the contrary
, concentrating on the present and future generations plays a paramount significant role. Because those people
can show up promptly in order to help us when we are in a severe situation. For instance
, If you have financial difficulties and need some support it is clear that
you can call your parents or siblings – they are the one
you can turn to for help and they will help you with all they Correct pronoun usage
ones
got
and do not need any return. As a matter of fact, those Verb problem
have
people
are the ones you should focus on in the form of spending time
looking after them in order to strengthen the bonds among family members. Thus
, by using our leisure time
with people
we love, the current and future generations we have abundant memorable memories to share with each other.
In my conclusion, both notions have their own merits, so it will be wonderful if we can continue triburing
our ancestors' legacies and enjoy the precious moments with our family.Correct your spelling
tributing
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences directly contribute to that idea. Avoid including information that may seem tangential or less directly related to the main point of each paragraph.
task achievement
Develop your examples further to clearly demonstrate how they support your points. While you have provided examples, more detailed explanations or expansion on these examples could strengthen your argument and make your ideas more compelling.
General
Pay close attention to sentence structure and grammar. Though not directly commented upon, consistently correct grammatical usage and varied sentence structures can significantly enhance the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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