Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #research #history #focus #future #generations

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There are two controversial perspectives heating a debate over the importance of researching family

history

Use synonyms

While

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some claim that

people

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should research our forefathers' stories in the past,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other makes a statement that focusing on the present and future generations is more crucial. It is optimal for me to combine both mentioned ideas. Without a shadow of a doubt, spending

time

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learning about family

history

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is essential.

Because having

Correct word choice

Having

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a wealth of knowledge of family

tree

Fix the agreement mistake

trees

show examples

plays

Unnecessary verb

apply

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wonders

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

way

people

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cherish the

tradition

Fix the agreement mistake

traditions

show examples

of their family.

For instance

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, by taking

time

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to study and research young

people

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will know their family has a rich

history

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of pottery making.

Furthermore

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, they may know that their ancestors have created various luxury items that were used to serve the noble class in the past.

As a

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result

Add a comma

result,

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those

people

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will preserve all the great things their forefathers have passed for them and avoid the disappearance of the ceramic technique.

Hence

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, it is important for us to study our family

history

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On the contrary

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, concentrating on the present and future generations plays a paramount significant role. Because those

people

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can show up promptly in order to help us when we are in a severe situation.

For instance

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, If you have financial difficulties and need some support

it is clear that

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you can call your parents or siblings – they are the

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

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you can turn to for help and they will help you with all they

got

Verb problem

have

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and do not need any return. As a matter of fact, those

people

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are the ones you should focus on in the form of spending

time

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looking after them in order to strengthen the bonds among family members.

Thus

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, by using our leisure

time

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with

people

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we love, the current and future generations we have abundant memorable memories to share with each other. In my conclusion, both notions have their own merits, so it will be wonderful if we can continue

triburing

Correct your spelling

tributing

our ancestors' legacies and enjoy the precious moments with our family.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Sun Jan 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences directly contribute to that idea. Avoid including information that may seem tangential or less directly related to the main point of each paragraph.

task achievement

Develop your examples further to clearly demonstrate how they support your points. While you have provided examples, more detailed explanations or expansion on these examples could strengthen your argument and make your ideas more compelling.

General

Pay close attention to sentence structure and grammar. Though not directly commented upon, consistently correct grammatical usage and varied sentence structures can significantly enhance the clarity and professionalism of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

In many countries , the number of animals and plants is declining . Why do you think this is happening ? How can this issue be solved ?

Some people think certain prisoner should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Vaccinating children against preventing diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous to waht extend do you agree or disagree?

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?