Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are conflicting views as to whether females are fit to join the army or the police force, as are males.
This
Linking Words
essay will explore two points of view and clarify my opinion in the following paragraphs. Those who argue that men and
women
Use synonyms
play an equal role in a police department or army may put forth the following argument. There are other skills that the military needs,
such
Linking Words
as social skills. When negotiating with the enemy or organizing training,
women
Use synonyms
with strong empathy skills can be more capable than men of standing in others’ shoes.
In addition
Linking Words
, even if not working on the battlefield, other positions are suitable for
women
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as nurses and therapists. More than that, with the development of technology, military tasks depend not only on muscular strength but
also
Linking Words
wisdom
Change preposition
on wisdom
show examples
and intelligence.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, opponents of
this
Linking Words
way of thinking have their own opinions, which they can
also
Linking Words
easily justify. The military usually requires a lot of physical effort rather than other aspects,
such
Linking Words
as drilling and participating in war to defend a country.
However
Linking Words
, the fact is that
women
Use synonyms
are usually not born with the strength, they do not have the ability to complete challenging tasks of high quality.
In addition
Linking Words
, the military needs soldiers to make objective decisions, especially under great pressure.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
are more likely to be emotional than men, who may not view problems critically,
thus
Linking Words
affecting decision-making. If they are allowed to join the army, they may affect the performance of the entire team. In conclusion, based on the above evidence and analysis,
while
Linking Words
some physically demanding tasks in the military may not be suitable for
women
Use synonyms
, some other positions that require intelligence and empathy are suitable for
women
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by wly_yanwang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly and use transition words to improve coherence.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: