Some people believe that the government should provide financial assistance to all artists including painters, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both points of views and give your opinion

#people #government #assistance #artists #painters #musicians #poets #waste #money #points

Some would argue that the

government

should provide financial aid for painters, musicians, and poets,

while

others consider that it is a waste of the state budget.

Although

artists

can spend

this

money

in a not appropriate way, I believe that assisting them with

money

is a good idea because it helps to reveal their potential. When

artists

gain financial support they can spend their

money

on not art-related goods or services.

This

is to say, if you imagine being an artist which is provided with

money

every month, you will be probably thinking why

Add a missing verb

do I

show examples

need to do something if I have free

money

every month and the

government

doesn't monitor the spending of

this

support

Change the punctuation

show examples

For instance

, in Saint-Petersburg

government

wanted to keep the artistic legacy and

therefore

to maintain all

artists

by financing them, and almost 50% of them spent

money

on alcohol, drugs, etc.

However

, I believe that supporting

artists

is crucial and

also

government

can monitor their assistance. Supporting

artists

, especially artist which

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

just entered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

art, may help them reveal their talent.

That is

because

artists

aren't able to afford special equipment for their field

Change preposition

show examples

the start of their career, and by assisting

them

Change the pronoun

their

show examples

government

provides them with a golden chance to show their talent. As an example, if

Correct article usage

the Italians'

show examples

Italians'

Change noun form

Italians

show examples

government

didn't support painters, musicians and poets, cities

such

as Milan and Roma would not be

such

cultural and filled with artwork as it is now.

Therefore

, I consider assisting

artists

as a chance for revealing their talent. In conclusion, art-related workers can spend their incorrectly,

however

, I think that it is important to provide them with financial aid

Submitted by prostoy.pacan4ek on Sun Jan 29 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the government should provide financial assistance to all artists including painters, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both points of views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Young people who commit serious crimes, such as robbery or violent attacks should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some countries are struggling with an increase in crime rates. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the cheap air flight gives ordinary people more freedom. However, others think the cheap air flight should be banned because it pollutes the air and brings many other problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.