Some people believe that the government should provide financial assistance to all artists including painters, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both points of views and give your opinion

Some would argue that the
government
should provide financial aid for painters, musicians, and poets,
while
others consider that it is a waste of the state budget.
Although
artists
can spend
this
money
in a not appropriate way, I believe that assisting them with
money
is a good idea because it helps to reveal their potential. When
artists
gain financial support they can spend their
money
on not art-related goods or services.
This
is to say, if you imagine being an artist which is provided with
money
every month, you will be probably thinking why
I
Add a missing verb
do I
show examples
need to do something if I have free
money
every month and the
government
doesn't monitor the spending of
this
support
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For instance
, in Saint-Petersburg
government
wanted to keep the artistic legacy and
therefore
to maintain all
artists
by financing them, and almost 50% of them spent
money
on alcohol, drugs, etc.
However
, I believe that supporting
artists
is crucial and
also
government
can monitor their assistance. Supporting
artists
, especially artist which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
just entered
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
art, may help them reveal their talent.
That is
because
artists
aren't able to afford special equipment for their field
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the start of their career, and by assisting
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
government
provides them with a golden chance to show their talent. As an example, if
Correct article usage
the Italians'
show examples
Italians'
Change noun form
Italians
show examples
government
didn't support painters, musicians and poets, cities
such
as Milan and Roma would not be
such
cultural and filled with artwork as it is now.
Therefore
, I consider assisting
artists
as a chance for revealing their talent. In conclusion, art-related workers can spend their incorrectly,
however
, I think that it is important to provide them with financial aid
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial assistance
  • government funding
  • cultural enrichment
  • creative projects
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • economic benefits
  • thriving arts communities
  • market forces
  • essential services
  • public money
  • dependence
  • innovation
  • corruption
  • inefficiency
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