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Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #idea #information #research #business #world
Our world is changing tremendously,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
 are in look
for
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of
show examples
 great innovations with the help of
data
 and the most
powerfull
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powerful
 and valuable source is
data
. I strongly agree that
Information
 should be easily available to anyone. here,
this
 essay explains the importance of
information
 to each and
everyone
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every one
show examples
.
Firstly
,
Data
being
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is
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 the key to anything from professional to personnel, In today's world we could find, discover or track anything and everything through modern innovation technologies using A.I
which
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apply
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analyse and
interprets
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interpret
show examples
data
 easily.
For instance
, Google
being
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is
show examples
a
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an
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 SEO showcases the results of whatever we search
within
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for within
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 a span of seconds.
Secondly
, with respect to the economic point of view
data
 is
ecessary
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necessary
 to gain
trust
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the trust
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with
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of
show examples
 investors who invest their funds in companies by thoroughly
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
studied
 history and all the details related to the company
moreover
information
 linked with health should be available to everyone. To exemplify, when the world was facing covid pandemic countries failed to release some confidential files linked with the
orgin
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origin
 of
pandemic
Add an article
the pandemic
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this
 gave
Add an article
a ride
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ride
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rise
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 to a difficult situation.
However
, some confidential
information
 needs to be given only limited access to top government officials and those
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 pointing to national security needs to be taken care but apart from
Correct pronoun usage
this
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these
Add a comma
,these
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 every individual has the right to know. In conclusion, every individual has the right to avail
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 and get help through
Right
Correct article usage
the Right
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 to
Information
 act.
Submitted by akkshaysivaprasad1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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