It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#proportion #people #countries #future #development

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It is estimated that most countries will soon face the problem of an ageing

population

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This

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essay will explain why I believe

this

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is both a negative and a positive trend.

To begin

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with, senior citizens have experienced more failures and successes than young adults, so they are more aware of the factors that contribute to success and failure. If there are more and more older generations in society, young

people

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can learn from their past experiences and avoid making similar mistakes,

thus

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reducing the time spent trying different methods to some extent.

Moreover

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, young

people

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can work more effectively by learning from others, which can boost output

as well as

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the economy.

For example

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, some companies are more likely to hire senior employees, so they can benefit from their successful experience, especially in the medical field.

Nevertheless

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, a high proportion of the ageing

population

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is a huge burden on society and the family. Young

people

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not only need to take care of their nuclear family but

also

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their older family members. Apart from that, they

also

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have to work, which makes it difficult for them to balance everything. For a country, an increasingly ageing

population

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means a decline in the young workforce and a lower proportion of the workforce. The pension of senior citizens is a major financial burden for a country, and older

people

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are more vulnerable to illness than the younger generation.

Consequently

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, with the increase of the older generation, the pressure on the health system will become more severe. In Japan,

for example

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, many elderly Japanese live alone, with no one to take care of them, and some may not even be aware of their family members when they die. In conclusion, based on the above analysis and evidence, an ageing

population

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brings both benefits and disadvantages. All nations must face

this

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problem in the future.

Therefore

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, countries around the world should pay much more attention to

this

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problem and try to find solutions to

this

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trend.

Submitted by wly_yanwang on Sun Jan 29 2023

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task response

Ensure that you address all aspects of the task question in a more balanced manner, addressing both positive and negative aspects of the ageing population issue.

coherence and cohesion

The overall structure of the essay is good, with clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, ensure that the ideas are logically connected within and between paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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