It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

During our

live

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lives

show examples

, we always have a choice

along with

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

risks

both in our private

Correct word choice

and

show examples

professional

journey

Fix the agreement mistake

journeys

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. In my opinion, taking

risks

is always giving us two results that are new

lesson

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lessons

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and

ability

Correct article usage

the ability

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to decide.

First,

taking

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

is bring us closer to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new lesson in life. If we never try something, we will never know the

result

. Despite the decisions we took often

lead

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

unexpected

Add an article

an unexpected

the unexpected

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and undesired

outcome

Fix the agreement mistake

outcomes

show examples

, at least we could learn a valuable point.

Those important point

Change the determiner

That important point

Those important points

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may help not only

someone

but

also

business to prevent

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

undesired

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

again in the future.

For instance

someone

who

work

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works

show examples

in the company

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to create

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good work to be promoted. If there is problem

emerge

Correct subject-verb agreement

emerges

show examples

in their division, they could share a solution even though it is probably rejected.

However

, they can learn from those rejections and make an improvement

for

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show examples

the next proposed idea.

On the other hand

, taking

risks

may train

someone

to grow their mindset. Every decision has a risk;

hence

it is better to analyse which is a good pinpoint or a low-risk action that must be taken. Taking a fresh

graduate

Fix the agreement mistake

graduates

show examples

example

Add an article

an example

show examples

, they need to know whether they need to work or pursue higher education. Both decisions have

risks

but they can figure out what suit most for them

through

Correct quantifier usage

most through

show examples

contemplation and

considerations

Fix the agreement mistake

consideration

show examples

This

method can be integrated with risk analysis tools which are suitable for business purposes

as well as

personal intention

such

as which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

decision lead to the less drawback.

As a

result

, people will become smarter in taking a decision if they think

further

regarding the

risks

To conclude

although

risks

could lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

undesired

result

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can give

someone

a lesson for the future. Taking

risks

also

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

someone

to have choices

along with

growing their own mindset.

Submitted by maryzashabira on Sun Jan 29 2023

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Many people around the world use social media day to keep in touch with other people and new events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?