IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Governments in many countries are urgently seeking ways to reduce unemployment in rural areas. What are the most effective ways to do this? Which measure do you think would be the single most effective step that governments could take?

#governments #countries #unemployment #areas #measure #step
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Around different parts of the world, governments are actively seeking solutions to address low rates of employment in far-off areas. The most suitable strategies include revolutionizing the infrastructure in these areas, and the most effective action to take would be to prioritize plans that are likely to materialize swiftly. The authorities can adopt several measures to generate job opportunities in the countryside. One of these is to improve transport facilities, which could mean building new bus routes,
railway
Correct word choice
and railway
show examples
 tracks, or improving those already in place. It will not only result in increased demand for labour, but
also
 engender management roles.
Secondly
, the government can build hospitals and schools. In
this
 way, the well-educated and less-educated shares of the population will have equal representation at work.
For example
, educational institutes entail recruitment of janitors and security staff
in addition
 to teachers.
However
, theories are often not applicable in the real world. If the administration focuses on one project at a time, it will likely reach completion. A suitable example is available in developing countries, where projects are often halted
due to
 a lack of funding or improper management.
This
 leads to unrest within the community and a risk of backlash from them. By subsidizing contracts, governments have a higher probability of improving the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 of residents. In light of the discussion above, it can be stated that numerous opportunities are available in the education, health, and transport sectors, which can prove to be a source of employment for the locals.
However
, the most suitable way to do
this
 is to invest in one of them at a time so people can reap their benefits.
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task achievement
To improve task achievement further, it's crucial to ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the question. While your essay makes a strong case for certain measures, it falls a bit short in deeply analysing or comparing the effectiveness of those measures against each other as the question prompts. For a higher score, make sure to elaborate on why these measures are the most effective compared to others and include more detailed examples to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay is well-structured, making good use of paragraphs and clear topic sentences. To enhance this further, consider varying your linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas, and ensure a smoother flow of information from one paragraph to the next. Also, work on developing a clearer thread of argument throughout the essay, guiding the reader more explicitly through your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment
  • rural areas
  • agricultural innovations
  • modern farming techniques
  • subsidies
  • research and development
  • productivity
  • infrastructure
  • connectivity
  • energy supply
  • small and medium enterprises (SMEs)
  • financial assistance
  • training programs
  • market access
  • local economies
  • vocational training
  • quality education
  • workforce
  • skills
  • rural tourism
  • hospitality
  • transportation
  • foreign and domestic investment
  • tax incentives
  • business environment
  • agricultural cooperatives
  • pool resources
  • markets
  • livelihoods
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