some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Nowadays, many kids are addicted to spending time on mobile

phones

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. I believe the lack of censorship on the content provided on

phones

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is the major cause of

this

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trend and in my opinion,

this

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is a negative phenomenon. Products and services provided on smartphones often contain unhealthy or intriguing elements.

For instance

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, pornography and toxic games. When there is no sufficient restriction on their availability to pupils.

Subsequently

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, young people who have little experience or determination to deter these tempts can easily develop addiction towards them.

Hence

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they end up spending hours every day consuming

this

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information on mobile

phones

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. For me,

this

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phenomenon is negative, because it could cause health problems for children,

as well as

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create intense relationships between family members. On the kids' side, their skeletons have not become strong enough,

therefore

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if they hold the

phones

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for hours without adjusting the poses, their shoulders and spines would suffer great pressure, resulting in disease concerning bones. As far as family is concerned

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apply

show examples

when little girls and boys are absorbed in playing applications on their smartphones, they would pay little attention to their parents and neglect to appreciate or value the things father and mother do for them,

such

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as cooking for them, taking them to and from school.

As a result

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, parents would feel unrelated to and grow dissatisfied towards the kids, leading to misunderstanding and a gap between parents and children. In conclusion, I suggest that insufficient censorship of information provided on

phones

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is to be blamed for

this

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situation and

this

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trend is absolutely a negative one.

Submitted by sabrinahuang0105 on Mon Jan 30 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why children spend hours on their smartphones and provides an opinion on whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the essay lacks depth in its analysis and does not fully develop the reasons and implications of children spending excessive time on smartphones.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of topic organization and structure. However, the logical structure could be improved by developing a more cohesive flow of ideas and using clearer transitions between paragraphs. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion would benefit from being more distinct and impactful to better frame the essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy life at the same time . What problems can this situation cause? What can be done about this problem?

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages?