Some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is sometimes argued that the ability of youngsters’
literacy
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is deteriorated because of the emergence of communication devices
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as mobile phones and computers. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

claim because these machines can deprive the time spent
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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reading and writing from adolescents. On the one hand, these gadgets
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit

The singular verb benefits does not appear to agree with the plural subject gadgets. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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young people’s
literacy
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in view of providing the materials,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as electronic novels, blogs and SNS platforms, which are helpful for gaining the
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability

It seems that abilities may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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reading and
writing
Replace the word
write

The word writing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. Nowadays, many eminent professors or business persons publicise their knowledge or thinking on their
web sites
Correct your spelling
websites

The word web sites seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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or SNS, like Facebook and Instagram. Youth can be exposed to
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun literature in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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prominent literature more easily than
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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before
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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widespread of these devices. It would enhance and stimulate younger’s writing and reading skills.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
excessive
Add an article
the excessive

The noun phrase excessive utility seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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utility of computers and cell phones
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a possibility to alter
teenagers
Change noun form
teenagers'
teenager's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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addictions to these materials. An increasing number of adolescents are spending their time
on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
surfing the internet, particularly unproductive activities,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as watching videos and pictures, and playing games without writing or reading activities. It means that these phones and laptops might
the
Add a missing verb
have the

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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possibility to deteriorate younger’s academic abilities
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. In Japan,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, teenagers’ cognitive abilities, including
literacy
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
been inferior
than
Change the preposition
to

The preposition than after the adjective inferior may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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counterparts of a decade ago. In conclusion, admittedly these devices might provide access to a wide variety of writing materials and give the environment to write something, they are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to

The preposition for after the adjective harmful may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

show examples
youngster’s
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters’

It seems that youngster’s may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
literacy
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

considering
its
Change the word
the

The word its may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
possibility of depriving the chance of writing or
reading
Replace the word
read

The word reading doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • digital literacy
  • multitasking
  • e-books
  • attention span
  • informal language
  • shorthand
  • interactivity
  • traditional literacy
  • comprehension
  • retention
  • multimedia elements
  • communication platforms
  • formal writing
  • reading habits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: