IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media for communicating information. State which you consider to be the most effective. •comics, books, radio, television, film, theatre

#three #media #information #•comics #books #radio #television #film #theatre
Recent research shows that the diversity of the
communication
tools
 in the hands of the media has indeed increased in recent times, with
television
, film and radio usage particularly standing out. Both advantages and disadvantages arise from these
communication
tools
, and among them, the power of
television
 is unquestionable. The article will attempt to explain the details of the topic with different perspectives and examples, highlighting why
television
 stands out.
Firstly
, over the
last
 ten years, the diversity of
communication
tools
 has changed dramatically
due to
 the widespread distribution of the Internet and
television
 in homes.
Consequently
, we can access lots of information quickly, and I make our decisions based on that.
Additionally
, it is obvious that the information that we receive from
television
 influences our decisions, whether it's about shopping, travel plans, or even selecting the political party that governs the country.
On the other hand
,
television
, as a visual
communication
 tool, provides lots of information in a short time, so
television
 stands out as one of the most effective and influential
tools
 among others. It is perhaps known that film and theatre
tools
 access limited individuals.
In addition
 to
this
, it is obligatory that specific dates, times and conditions must be prepared. Commonly, we need an amount of money to access the services of these
tools
. The first impression of
television
 seems to have advantages,
on the other hand
, films and theatres make differences especially in quality and targeted audience focus. Even if both films and theatres are in danger, they are still continuing to grow. In conclusion, it the realty and obvious that
television
 has an advantage over others. Especially, growing of the growing usage of the Internet and many people all over the world,
television
 is not only in our homes but
also
 in our pockets. In my opinion, the usage of the
television
 will increase in the future.
Submitted by salihzekikoni on

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Task Response
You should ensure that your essay has a clear introduction that sets the topic and outlines the points you will discuss. Your introduction appears to cover this, but it could be more focused on the specific task of comparing the media forms.
Task Response
Develop each point with clear and distinct main ideas, supported by explanations or examples. While some points are mentioned, the connection between them and their examples need to be strengthened.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to help your essay flow more naturally. Logical connectors, transition phrases, and clear paragraphing can help in adding clarity and enhancing coherence.
Task Response
Your conclusion should summarise the main points of your essay and clearly state your position. It seems rushed; make sure it encapsulates your arguments and reiterates which medium you consider most effective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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