IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#computers #education #people #trend #consequences #argument
Today, technology is developing more and more. It is applied in industries to increase work productivity. Education is no
exeption
Correct your spelling
exception
 in many schools now, there are always
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
computers
 for
students
 to use. Some people say
that is
 a positive trend but others people disagree but in my opinion, I think both sides are right.
Computers
 have many advantages in education.
Firstly
,
computers
 help
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 improve more knowledge. They can search the information about their lessons
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet, they can translate in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 class.
Secondly
, teachers can more easily in teaching. They can give
students
 the lectures,
videos
Correct word choice
and videos
show examples
 needed to teach.
Thay
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 can give assignments faster and more compactly.
Computers
also
 help teachers prepare lessons to teach better. Contrary to the very good benefits of
computers
, the harms are
also
 very worrying.
Firstly
, many
students
willuse
Correct your spelling
will use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 bad
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. They use
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
 to play games at school so they won’t focus
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the lessons.
Secondly
,
students
 will gradually lose community skills. In break time, they just focus
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the computer to play games and don’t go out to play and communicate with their friends.
Thirdly
,
students
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
 to play games
lead
Change the form of the verb
leading
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad scores at school,
affact
Correct your spelling
affect
 to the
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of
brain
Add an article
the brain
show examples
, they don’t do homework
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their own effort, but just search
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 answers on the internet. In conclusion,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
computers
 might have many
effect
Change to a plural noun
effects
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your health.
Therefore
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 the advantages of using
computersin
Correct your spelling
computers in
computers
 education outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by pcamps.pr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: